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“Speak Up for those who cannot speak for
themselves, for the rights of all who are
destitute.”

More than a Magazine Get Involved

Speak Up Magazine is a 501(c)3 non- Volunteers and interns are welcomed for
profit that gives voice to and offers an creative areas, such as photography, editing,
income opportunity for homeless and teaching, and production, design, as well as
vulnerably-housed people. They become fundraising, social services and more. Please
micro-business owners who buy copies contact us to help out.
of Speak Up for a low price and resell
them, keeping all the cash and earning a
profit. As a result, these enterprising street Speak Up is Local
vendors learn to manage their resources,
grow their businesses and change their Unique editions of Speak Up are
lives with dignity. published monthly in Traverse City, MI,
Speak Up is a member of the and Charlotte, NC.
International Network of Street Papers, To explore bringing Speak Up to your
which connects and supports over 100 region, visit speakupmag.org/local.
such organizations worldwide.

This Zine Team Contact

Editing & Writing Clinics Charlotte Office (NC)
Will Vaughan, Peggi Knowe, Ben Shaw, (704) 980-9885
Nate Casey, Liana Harvey, Rob Astor, Lana speakupmag.org
Shaw, Harry Griffin, Melissa Sprenkle, office@speakupmag.org
Bill Shaw, Mary Pierce, Mickey Grooters, 1515 S Mint St,
Deborah Shaw Charlotte, NC 28203

Visuals
Chadborne Whiting, photo processing Traverse City Chapter (MI)
Deb Shaw, photography speakuptc.com
Matt Shaw, photos/design billshaw@speakupmag.org

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VENDOR PROGRAM Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Speak Up vendor?

“Vendor” is the title for the hard-working individuals who distribute Speak Up. Most likely
they are experiencing homelessness or are vulnerably housed. Your purchase of this magazine
is part of their journey out of poverty. You can learn more at speakupmag.org/vendors.

How does someone become a vendor?

1. Sign up & come to an interview
3. Attend the Training Day
4. Sign the Code of Conduct
5. Get 20 free zines and temporary badge
5. Reinvest and attend weekly meetings. Look for a valid Speak Up badge

What if I give money but don’t take the magazine?

Always take the magazine. This individual is out working hard, please don’t make them take a
hand out. Feel free to tip, but always take the product. This gives them dignity, not just money.

But I don’t have any cash!

A few smartphone-equipped vendors can accept a credit card payment. We are also
experimenting with Scan-to-Pay using your cellphone camera (learn more at scan.me). For
now, the best option is to plan ahead and keep a few dollars handy for your favorite vendor.

How can I help?

Here’s one way: Be a friend to the person that sells the magazine. Sit down with them for coffee,
buy them lunch, get to know them. Keep it simple. Healthy and encouraging relationships are
crucial as people build new community and grow in opportunity and perspective.

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VENDOR WEEK
2015

February 2-8, 2015, is
THE BIG SELL OFF.
It is a weeklong partnership between over 100 street
papers and magazines around the world, during which
high profile individuals become vendors for a day to
raise funds for their local street magazines.

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Homelessness is always high stress. Where am I going
sleep tonight? How will I spend my day? Where will I eat?
What is the weather going to be like? How do I stay warm
and dry? Who will I run into? How do I keep my belongings
safe and dry?
—Renee, page 15

Local Letter 06
Cover Vendor: Sheila 07
Where Can I Even Sleep? 08
The Time Machine 09
Whatsoever 10
Kicked Out, Beaten Down…. 11
Homelessness Is… 14
Mental Health & THE STREETS 15
DISPATCHES from Mark 16
One Crazy Day 17
Film: Something You Can Call Home 18
Home + Hope 20
Don’t Give Up 21
What Next? 22
Sponsors 23

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[SPEAK UP LOCAL] [WHAT DRIVES YOU?]
A COLLEGE STUDENT
on his passion for
connecting with people

When I think of the word “passion,” I to hear where they are now so I might be
think about all of the things that I love and able to celebrate with them.
am devoted to. I think of my family and We are all deeply passionate about
friends. I think of football and traveling, something. And if we are deeply
of piano and music. I think of housing passionate about something, surely we will
projects. But really when I think of my suffer greatly in order to love it well. But
main passion, one word comes to mind. it is an enduring spirit that ventures on,
People. I have always been passionate that gets back in the saddle and raises its
about people and relationships. Little did chin…if not for one last time. Too often,
I know, the word passion comes from the difference between our worst failure
the Latin word “passio” which means and our most joyous success is as little as
“suffering or enduring.” Now when I think lifting our chin one more time, despite the
of passion, I connect the death and loss of circumstance. I have seen this unfold in
loved ones, surgery, sickness, poverty, and so many people’s lives here at Speak Up.
a lack of hope. But that is not what passion Many people are at the end of their rope
is! Passion is actively enduring hardships when they come in. However, they choose
for the things we love. So here is my goal: to raise their chin, get to work, and become
to tell stories of passionately-enduring passionate about something again. It gives
spirits that evoke hope in the midst of them hope. It gives me hope.
suffering. To tell of a hope once unseen. So wherever you are at, whoever you
Over the next few months I will be are: continue to be passionate. Continue
doing just that. I’ve started something to endure, knowing that suffering reveals
I’m calling “The Coffee Projects.” I’ll be our passion in its rawest form. Don’t let
getting coffee with whoever, whenever, hardships dumb your passion. Instead, let
wherever. My goal is to know people by suffering deepen your understanding of
knowing their story. I want to hear the passion and love. Let it strengthen you.
worst parts so I may be able to visualize
the depths of their pain. I also want to —Nate Casey
hear about the road they have travelled so Nate volunteers weekly at Speak Up.
I may appreciate the feet they walk on and He is a sophomore at Davidson College.
where they have come from. And I want

Enjoying coffee
with a Speak Up vendor

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[THIS MONTH’S FEATURED VENDOR]
A CHAT WTIH VENDOR SHEILA APPERSON

WHERE ARE YOU FROM? WHAT’S A POSITIVE THAT HAS
Danville, Virginia. HAPPENED SINCE YOU BEGAN
SELLING SPEAK UP?
WHAT’S THE BEST MEMORY YOU The most rewarding thing that I have
HAVE FROM GROWING UP? experienced is bringing people in to
We lived next to a farm growing up and I Speak Up’s office and seeing their lives
loved being around all of the animals and change. I love seeing their confidence
the grapevines. grow and circumstances brighten.

WHO MEANS THE MOST TO YOU? WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE
My daughter. TO HANG OUT IN CHARLOTTE?
There are a lot of nice people down by
HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT the Common Market. I also like the BBQ
SPEAKUP? House across the street.
I was really at a low place in my life
and was battling some depression and WHAT GIVES YOU COMFORT?
homelessness. A Speak Up vendor at that I know there is a God and I pray to Him.
time sat down next to me on the bus and I know He holds me in His hands and
talked about the hope, opportunity and will take care of me. I have seen that as
respect it had given him. Speak Up is the my relationship with God has grown, my
best thing that has ever happened to me. circumstances have gotten better. That’s
where my hope is.
WHERE DO YOU SELL YOUR
MAGAZINES? WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS?
Wherever I can. I mainly sell them in To be healthy and finish my college
NODA and around small businesses. I degree, to better my financial situation,
am looking to expand. to finally have a car, and to have a great
relationship with my daughter.
WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
I’m staying at my daughter’s apartment. —Interview by Nate Casey

Read more of Sheila’s story on page 11

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[POETRY]
WHERE CAN I
EVEN SLEEP?
I have moved uptown to Independence
Square because there is nowhere else to go.
I no longer have my tent, and there is no
legitimate place to set it up in any more. I
have been living there for a week now. I
sleep on a bench. Hearsay is that if you ask a
police officer where you can sleep, they will
tell you “one of the benches.” But apparently
there is a movement to remove all or most of
the benches uptown.
So where will I sleep then? If the answer
is the concrete, then that would be a good
thing because then I can actually lie down. honest people? I’m 43, I’m not so naive any
As it is, you are required to sit up. Plus, they more. They want you to be comfortable
leave the “arm rest” in the middle, which to work with. At one of my last jobs, they
I consider pure evil, the obvious purpose asked me why I didn’t smile more. Can’t
being to prevent lying down. Sitting up perform customer service with a big frown!
produces a lot of back pain for me personally. I understand toughing things out, fighting,
I came up with a knock-knock joke: etc., but life isn’t the survival of the fittest.
“Knock-knock” This isn’t the Marines. Where is the freedom
“Who’s there?” in having to do what somebody tells you
“Good News!” to for 40 hours a week? They can at least
“Good News Who?” be halfway polite about it. No need to talk
“Get a job!” to me like a dog. Nevermind anything like
The point being: the message ad sharing the profits. If you work at my pizza
nauseum is to give one’s life to go to Christ shop, you get a percentage of all profits, even
and then get back to work. if only a token amount. That’s what I’d like to
There was a time I didn’t believe in do someday: own that shop.
unemployment. I believed in working Nobody produced the earth, the terra
hard. Now, I am glad to get my EBT. I feel ferma—so how can you make it illegal to
I have accomplished a moral victory by lie down and sleep? I understand there are
using them for food (I am not perfect in many conveniences I may take for granted,
this department, but over 90% go to the but I’m hardly trying to tear down or destroy
intended, non-fraudulent purpose). what our society has built. How does
People say you’ve got to do what you homeless people being allowed to legally
got to do, but I feel like I don’t have to do lie horizontally in a public place pose a big
anything. I was a good worker at one time, threat? I don’t know who runs this city, but
but I have some peculiar social anxiety I know they’re trying to build a world-class
issues and attention deficit issues that make city. But what about a God-class city? Must
it difficult for me. A friend told me God one be robbed to deserve room at the inn?
isnt a genie in a bottle that you rub when
you decide you want him there. Why do I —Tom Carter
have to pretend to get a job? They don’t want Charlotte, NC

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[THE TIMES ARE A CHANGING]
THE TIME
MACHINE When I was a child, things were different. When I was a child, the stories from
We had a crank telephone and a black and the last generation before my youth were
white television with only two channels. In different than mine. Stories of the Great
kindergarten, I walked two miles to school Depression and the changing of the meaning
to one of the last two-room school houses of house power, how machinery changed
in Michigan where they taught K-eighth their world and them. Stories of hope, love
grades. We used a ringer washer and a line and courage in hard times, stories of great
outside to dry the clothes. My mom would men who spoke out without fear for what
spend the fall canning fruits and vegetables was right and the right thing to do. Stories
for the winter. What a change it means to be of a world at war against a man who thought
canning now. that others who were not like him were not
I’ve seen many changes too: the world, human and should be done away with.
the sexual revolution, flower children, wars, Who will write the next great American
and the death of a president whose son gave chapter? Who will tell our stories if no one
a final salute—a gesture that touched the will speak up? Who, if not you and me?
whole world. On television, I heard a man Maybe then someone won’t see the worth
talk of the equality of man; later he was of you and me.
silenced, yet his dream lives on. History
has moved on, and I lived during the times —Randy Parcher
of the stories I relate. These stories are Traverse City, MI
windows into the past just as the stories that
you relate will be.

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[OBSERVATION]

“Whatsoever”

To us, the plaza did not move.
But to this one, muttering man, Almost everyone looked at each other
hair in wandering spirals, and had been moved by
clothes in flagrant rumple, such an alarming occurrence.
eyes in darting search of That is, except the homeless man.
a monetary opportunity– He hadn’t flinched.
this place had lost its balance; Holding his ground,
and it made him swagger step he stared at it all,
his way to the corner. and had no look of curiosity whatsoever.
It all, that plaza, his feet
Until, unbeknownst to us, —now in perfect balance.
an ambulance had turned the corner.
It switched on its siren, jolting us all —Steve
by its loudness and unexpectedness. Traverse City, MI
And, yes, we instantly wondered
where the emergency could be.
What had happened?
Was it close by?

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[STORIES FROM MY LIFE]
kicked out
beaten down
still holding on
Sometimes people have nicknames would leave him and then go back to him
that someone has named them. I have and then he would beat me again. I left
one, mine is Cinderella. I was born in a him and my mother helped me, but I went
family with two older siblings. I was the back again.
youngest of two girls, and there was an I was working at a store, they loved me
age difference of nine and thirteen years there. But my boss said that I needed to
between myself and them. I always felt stop coming in looking like I had gotten
like I was the black sheep. They always beat up, with black eyes and bruises all
treated me badly and left me out of a lot of over. He said if it happened again, I would
things. As time went by, it got worse. get fired.
My first homeless experience was after It happened again and so I got fired.
my father passed away and I was living The police eventually took me to a
at home. My mother became distraught shelter for battered women. I received
from his death, and my sisters told her help and counseling there. A crisis
that she needed to kick me out of her organization helped me get an apartment.
house. She finally did. I was done with the marriage and on my
You see why I was called Cinderella? own in my own place. (Many years later
I found myself living in my car, not after he died, his second wife told me that
understanding why my mother let them he beat her too.)
do that to me. It was hard and some
friends helped me sometimes but I was The third time I became homeless
not in a good situation. After some time, I was when I was in an apartment that
met someone and moved up to Chimney was contaminated with mold, and I was
Rock, NC. I lived with a family up there hospitalized from it. It was then that they
until I could get my own place. chose to evict me, accusing me of things
After a year went by my mother came that were not true. I became homeless
to visit me and ended up bringing me back again, but that is when I found Speak Up.
to Charlotte with her. I moved in with her. It has given me hope and made me
a better person. I now truly care about
I started dating someone who worked others that are in transition. I feel that
for the city—a public servant, he wore a this organization has changed my life for
uniform—and ended up getting married the better and it enables me to stand up
to him. It was good, at first. Within a for something I truly believe in: helping
month, he became extremely abusive. I homeless people.
went through a very bad time in my life.
I had to run away many nights and sleep —Sheila Apperson
outside in the park because I was scared Charlotte, NC
to go home. He beat me and beat me. I

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Up
Speak
about
more
learn
to
smartphone
your
with
Scan beggar
nota

Page 14

[TRUE]
Homelessness is falling
asleep at McDonald’s.
Homelessness is being
exhausted all the time. Homelessness is making valiant, almost
magical attempts at blending in with your
surroundings, and society’s ridiculous
expectations.Homelessness is waking
Homelessness is being too tired to give a
flying fart, so your head falls wherever youup refreshed and lucid feel safe.

Homelessness is doing anything toon one of those rare make an honest buck, even if it means
compromising your self-respect.
mornings when you Homelessness is the martial art of honing
your skills as a hustler so that you may
make a decent living (for someone livingfound a place to sleep, on the streets) by any means necessary.

—David Alan Goldbergundisturbed. Charlotte, NC

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[SANITY]

Mental Health
AND THE STREETS

There are a lot of life issues on the
street. A lot of “non-homeless” people
think of those of us who are “homeless”
as mere “bums” and “drunks.” The reality
is that we “homeless” deal with the same
life issues as those who are not “homeless.”
We may or may not have families. We
suffer the losses of loved ones. We may
be struggling with substance abuse issues. medication for my depression, insomnia,
We may be battling mental health issues. and for my hypothyroidism. In addition
I am a person in recovery from to medications, I attend AA weekly, other
alcoholism. But before my alcoholism, agency-run support groups, and 1:1
there was (and still is) chronic major counseling to learn new coping skills.
depression, anorexia and bulimia, Post The challenge for anyone learning new
Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), coping skills, for any reason, is applying
insomnia, generalized anxiety disorder, what one has learned. This is particularly
and Obsessive Compulsive traits. I also challenging, yet vital, in high stress or
have bone spurs and arthritis, partly a crisis situations. Homelessness is always
result of aging, exacerbated by excessive high stress. Where am I going sleep
amounts of time outside in the elements tonight? How will I spend my day? Where
and all the walking that I have to do. will I eat? What is the weather going to
At present, my anxiety, depression, and be like? How do I stay warm and dry?
PTSD are really kicking my butt, as well Who will I run into? How do I keep my
as bouts of insomnia and the resulting belongings safe and dry? Ad finem.
OCD tendencies, which are attempts to As a person who is experiencing
compensate for the others. homelessness, I face these challenges
Challenges in my mental health daily. Cognitively, I know that the
status tend to increase my vulnerability key to successfully maneuvering these
to potential relapse with regard to my challenges, and therefore successfully
alcoholism. manage both my mental health and my
Anyone who has ever struggled recovery, is to utilize my new coping skills.
with substance abuse issues, or knows However, “knowing” and “doing” are not
someone who has, can likely relate to what yet automatic. I guess, in the end, all I can
I am trying to say. I must successfully do is to keep putting one foot forward in
manage each end of my co-occurring front of the other. Try to live in the “now”
disorders (substance abuse and mental of today, and keep making wise choices.
health diagnoses). When my depression, Finally, I need to learn to ask for help
PTSD, and/or anxiety heighten, my when I need it; a strong arm to steady me
inclination to self-medicate with alcohol instead of a bottle.
increases. When use of alcohol is in —Renee Rop
play, this directly impacts and worsens Traverse City, MI
my depression, etc. At present, I take

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[OBSERVATIONS]
DISPATCHES:
Life On the Edge

In a one bedroom apartment in a
building that looks like it has been through
a mortar attack on the outskirts of Little
Havana, I take refuge from the madness
that lies outside my front door. Miami is
as rough as Los Angeles—a cruel, vicious,
and unforgiving place where I don’t
entirely fit in. At least on the West Coast, I
could blend into the scene.
The first night in my new apartment,
I met a Cuban woman living under the
stairwell next to my front door. In short
order, I put her to work cleaning up the lying upon layers of scavenged cardboard.
aftermath of years of neglect from a The smell of urine burning my nostrils as
landlady who is pre-Alzheimer’s. I walked the streets I once slept on just a
The building sat unoccupied for three- month earlier.
plus years before I arrived. Most of my You can tell those who have formed
time the first night was rousing the drunks street families. They tend to sleep in
and druggies from their spots amongst the groups, usually divided by types of drug
empty, unfinished apartments and kicking usage or race. It’s a human survival
them off the property. instinct whether they realize it or not. The
Even though I myself have been acrid odor from the vaporization of crack
homeless and on the streets, I never took cocaine wafts from one group of people
refuge by squatting in someone else’s and the sickly sweet smell of alcohol from
house. I felt no sympathy for them as I another. All are in various clusters along
escorted them from the property with a a darkened stretch of street right off of
promise of police involvement upon their downtown Miami.
return. Except for the refugee lady, I ran It really doesn’t matter what major
them all off. She hadn’t broken into any of city you’re in. The dynamic is the same,
the apartments. She just had her bedroll whether your homelessness is caused by
under the stairs. She also had a horrific drugs or alcohol or mental illness or just
raspy cough which worried me. sheer bad luck. You will find the group
I offered her my couch in trade for which is best suited to you. I speak of
cleaning, and she agreed, in her humorous the street-dwelling homeless. The most
broken English. She was a blessing, I had chronic of the homeless.
no food, or food stamps, for that matter. I sit on the stairwell outside my
She willingly proffered her SNAP card and apartment and smoke a hand-built
we went to the local supermarket. Other cigarette made from the tobacco of cheap
than the peculiar odor of meat about to cigars rolled into thin graph paper. I know
turn bad and every single sign being in I am still vulnerably housed, just barely
Spanish, I welcomed the nourishment. surviving, yet I am more at peace than I
Later that first night under a roof I have been in year.
went for a walk directly into Miami’s
version of L.A.’s infamous Skid Row. The —Mark Gansert
men and women lined the city sidewalks Miama, FL

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[BLESSING]

but then I asked for it back so I could pray
over it, since it was all I had. I then sat
down at the machine and flipped through
the games to find the one I liked.One Crazy Day Five minutes into the game, the screen
In November of 2012, I almost lost my went black. I had won $3,200! I made
apartment. Here’s the story of how I kept it. sure to give everyone there some of the
I had only lived there a year, but it was money, to share the blessing. Then I went
quite comfortable. Unfortunately I was off to tell my sister-in-law who had given
having a hard time paying rent. I had been me the $20. She was at another internet
searching for some type of employment— cafe. I decided to play there as well—two
anything!—for the past few months. It was minutes later the screen went blue I had
hard to find something that I could do. I won again, this time $1,200!
tried to borrow money from family and I was so happy. My prayers were being
friends but it seemed everyone was in the answered. I blessed everyone in the
same position. Still I prayed for some help. building by sharing more of my winnings.
The court date finally came. On my way out the door, I bumped
“Are you going to pay?” asked the into a friend who told me I should try
judge. another place that had a higher jackpot.
“I don’t have it,” I said. I was completely How could I say no? At the third place, I
broke. put $40 on and sat down and bowed my
The gavel slammed, and she told me head and prayed. After picking the game,
I had ten days before I would be evicted. I clicked the mouse a couple times and
I spent the rest of the day trying to keep I won $1,600! I jumped up and started
my spirits up and praying. My cousin saw crying. I was in shock.
me and asked if I wanted to go with her There I was, just a week before I was
to the internet cafe, where people play to be evicted. Now I had enough money
the sweepstakes. I needed something to to pay my rent and bills for six months. I
cheer me up, so I went with her. On the also paid by daughter’s rent and bills and
way in, my sister-in-law came out with a bought myself a car.
huge smile. She had won some money and
pressed a $20 bill into my hand. —Tawanna Glass
I walked up to the register and handed Charlotte, NC
the clerk my ID and the $20. He took it

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[FILM]
“SOMETHING YOU CAN CALL HOME”
[a conversation with documentary filmmaker Rebecca Kenyon]

Rebecca Kenyon’s documentary make sense of the world. I feel that fi lms
“Something You Can Call Home” follows have the power to change attitudes and
the lives of four homeless individuals in challenge our way of thinking as well as
North Carolina as they fight for survival. stir all kinds of emotion. I started to hear
about people living in their cars and yet still
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? going to their jobs, not telling colleagues,
I was born in London and live there friends or family. That fascinates me; and
now, though I have family all throughout while I didn’t end up fi lming with anyone
North Carolina. in this situation, it was a way in, to explore
the changing face of homelessness, away
WHY BECOME A DOCUMENTARY from the stereotype that many people
FILMMAKER? have. The truth is, it really can happen to
I trained and worked as a professional anyone now.
actor for several years and then realized Through getting to know the people
that I really wanted to learn more about featured in the fi lm, and keeping up with
documentaries and being the other side their progress since, as well as speaking
of the camera. I’ve found that there are with many non profits across the state,
a lot of transferable skills, and essentially, I’ve also seen how complex homelessness
they’re both forms of storytelling. can be. I hope that the fi lm can be used
to help enable this important conversation
WHAT MADE HOMELESSNESS A and bring “home” to people how it’s really
TARGET ISSUE FOR FILMMAKING? not an “us and them” situation, that it’s
I’ve always been interested in observing potentially happening to people in our
people and how we interact and gradually community all around us.

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Page 19

to sleep, have a shower, wash my clothes,
and eat. It’s more than that though. The
practical things are very important, of
course, for survival, but it’s more than
that. Being homeless can be an incredibly
lonely and frightening experience, and
people need real support to help get
themselves out of their current situations.
And even then, they need to not just be
handed the keys to an apartment, but
need ongoing support and friendship—
especially if someone’s been homeless or
unemployed for a long time and has lost a
lot of people around them.
I’d encourage people to consider
striking up a conversation with someone
on the street or with someone that they
suspect is at risk of becoming homeless.
They should treat that person with
humanity and dignity and just see if they
can brighten their day a little. You may
be surprised what you also get out of that
moment.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED?
I’ve learned how resilient and
resourceful people can be, and how people
I’ve met who have nothing are often the
most generous and caring in thinking
DID MAKING THIS FILM REQUIRE about others.
PERSONAL SACRIFICES? The people featured in the fi lm, Jerome,
I made the decision back then to Vince, Melody, Karen, were each going
vacate my London apartment in order to through, and continue to go through,
fund the project. So while I’ve had a tiny really vulnerable and exhausting times in
glimpse of what that instability feels like, life, and yet each one said that they wanted
I’m hugely fortunate that I’ve got friends to share their story in order to help others
and family (both in the UK and NC), who going through a similar situation. I’ve
I can stay with. learned that it doesn’t take much to make
a huge difference in someone’s life, it’s
WHY NORTH CAROLINA? just about caring about each other and
I have family in NC, and I was doing what you can not to judge, but to
interested in speaking with people living treat someone as an equal, with a little
in their cars, which I knew was happening compassion and dignity.
more in the US than the UK. An incredible
opportunity then came up when I was —Interview by Liana Harvey
asked to be one of the founding members
of the residency program at Cucalorus Learn more and watch a trailer at
Film Festival in Wilmington. www.somethingyoucancallhome.com

DID THIS PROJECT CHANGE YOU? To host a screening and group
Absolutely! I don’t think I’ll ever see discussion, contact Rebecca on Twitter
things quite the same. And day to day, I (@moteofdustfi lms) or by email:
am grateful every time I have somewhere info@moteofdustfi lms.com

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[STRUGGLE]

and evening and have yet to stop.
I needed my birth certificate and was
told to go to the Urban Ministry Center.
Visiting UMC, I learned about the writingHOME / HOPE class and art studio. I did my best to attend
Home away from home is what I every one. I painted several paintings.
convinced myself that I was experiencing Sold a few. I had written one book and
when I walked into the Salvation Army published it. (I have to republish it because
shelter in October, 2010. I had brought I made the mistake of printing it in an Old
two of my grandbabies, Dyral and Destiny, English font.) Since then, I have written
with me to help my daughter get her act four others and am working on the sixth.
together. For some reason, I thought that On March 5, 2011, I got a car, an
I would be able to find a job right away apartment and a job at a grocery store.
with all my work experience and then It was my vision to live on the lake, so I
quickly find housing. Not! I had worked placed a map on the underside of the
in a grocery store for nearly five years, the bunkbed above me in the shelter and
public school system for one and a half prayed about it daily.
years, and in retail for four or more. But it Two years later, my roommate moved
was not as easy as I had anticipated. to Charlotte while I was still working
On December 18, I was informed by part-time and struggling to pay my rent.
the Salvation Army that either I get rid Finally, I gave up. In March 2013, I moved
of my grandbabies or they would put us back to Stone Mountain to my daughter’s
all out of the program. My daughter came house. After being unsuccessful at
and got the kids and left on the twenty- finding a job, losing my storage unit and
first, little Destiny’s birthday. It was the belongings, and spending all my savings
most painful time of my life. The Salvation trying to survive, I went back to school
Army thought I would be free to find a job at Westwood College in the Business
and get a place faster. Management program.
I refused to let this take me down. But To make a long story short, on October
I was headed down—fast. I was scared 8, I finished my classes. On December
that I was about to lose all hope. I hadn’t 13, I will strut across the stage to get my
realized how much those babies meant to Associate Degree in business.
me until they were gone. I felt so empty. I now work part-time with CDS at
It was time for a change without losing COSTCO as a demonstrator. I performed
my basic dignity. As I looked round me, recently in a play called “Be Very Careful
I saw many that had lost their minds. In of What You Pray For.” I am developing
that environment, it is so easy to lose it. a character called “Miz Kryz” for my
So many had given up. They were running storytelling. I’m still working on my books
scared. You could smell the fear. And every and want to start blogging.
time I see one go down, I remind myself In a sense, I am still homeless. I do
that could be me. Then I thank God it have my goals and greater determination.
wasn’t me. Then I asked, “God, will this be My heart goes out to those who are still
me? What must I do to prevent this from out there searching but mostly to those
happening?” It seemed I held my breath who have given up hope.
for the longest time. I was on the border of They say home is where the heart is.
insanity. Many there already. I was afraid Then we all should pray for a stronger
I would be next. I fought hard not to cry heart.
or, worse, become severely depressed. I
was already depressed. I stilled cried from —Christina C. Williams
time to time, just not as often. Stone Mountain, GA
I busied myself so much that I tried not
to have time to think about my situation.
I started reading my Bible every morning

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[INSPIRATION]

driver didn’t even stop. The one witness
called for help. When the ambulance got
there, they had to revive me three times.DON’T GIVE UP!
I suffered a traumatic brain injury and
dozens of broken bones.
I spent six months in the hospital.
After coming home to heal, I was anxious
to get back to work. I tried, but was not
physically able to. My job covered my
doctor bills, but back at home, I had no
way to support myself. I was afraid that
I would find myself homeless again.
Over the last three years, I’ve had about
ten surgeries and and fell into a deep
depression. A lawyer started a disability
case for me, but it didn’t seem to be going
anywhere fast.
I started attending a church, New Life
Trinity. It was there that I really learned
the power of prayer. I was told that God
didn’t bring me through all of that to let
me fall on my face.
I was in the hospital and had my
gallbladder removed when I got a call
from my lawyer telling me that my case
After fighting what I thought was a concerning the accident was denied. In a
losing battle with drugs, hopelessness not-so-nice-way I told him exactly where
and homelessness, my Heavenly Father I was: having surgery as a result of the
answered one of my prayers and took the accident! So they filed an appeal.
taste of crack cocaine from my mouth. When my appeal date came, I got the
Family and friends saw that I was trying times mixed up. That morning when I
to do something different and reached out didn’t show up, they called me and said the
their hands to help me. judge was going to drop the case because
After that, I had gainful employment I wasn’t there. I was frantic. I called my
doing building maintenance and lawyer and said that I was on the way. I
housekeeping for Bank of America. Talk got onto the light rail train, but almost
about a come on for an ex-crackhead. I immediately it started slowing down.
had a stable place to live, and at the time, What was happening? The conductor
life was good. I remember feeling like I announced that there was another train
was a productive part of society. broken down up ahead, and we would be
An unbelievable opportunity came delayed. I couldn’t believe my bad luck.
my way to work and live on the largest But then I thought about all the work
passenger train in the world with the and prayers I’d put in, and the others who
famous Barnum and Bailey Circus. I was prayed with and for me. I had to hold
divorced, and my child was grown and on on to hope! At that moment, my lawyer
her own. Hey, why not? called and said, “You don’t have to come.
Those were the best three years of my The judge is going to award it to you!”
life. The circus trained me as a brake and Now that’s God showing up and out!
airline mechanic, and I travelled all over So when things simple impossible, just
the U.S. don’t give up.
Three years ago, we were in Austin, TX,
and I left the train on my bicycle to go to —Michal Smith
the store when I was struck by an SUV. The Charlotte, NC

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[AMBITION]

What am I going to do next?

I was asked this question at my writing to speak openly to them: no judgment, no
class, and here is my answer. Well that is egos out here, just real Americans who
a direct question, so I will give a direct have been ripped off by society, especially
answer: the very same thing I am doing my Warrior Brothers and Sisters, the
right now. I am being obedient to my veterans! They are surely America’s BEST!
Lord, first and foremost! They deserve better than homelessness.
Right now, my life could not be much So I plan to do as I do now. In my
fuller. The joy I have is truly unspeakable future, I hope to bring national awareness
and full of the Lord’s glory. I daily have of the CRISIS IN AMERICA—THE
the privilege of living among the very best HOMELESS VETERAN! This SHOULD
of people, my homeless family. Right now, NEVER, EVER BE IN MY AMERICA!
I am so much closer to many out here, SO I WILL USE THE POWER OF THE
yes, closer than to my own family! Last PEN TO BRING THIS AWARENESS TO
year at this time, I was so, so alone even ALL AMERICANS!
though I was surrounded by my OWN.
Many of my family were only one mile —Franky Faunce
away, yet I never saw them. So, now I see Traverse City, MI
the people I have come to love daily. I get

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[GIVING] [OPPORTUNITY]
Many thanks to Speak Up’s sponsors & donors.

TRANSFORMED THE COMMUNITY
CHANGED PERCEPTIONS
GAVE A VOICE
PROMOTED OPPORTUNITY

STARTED A CONVERSATION
SUSTAINED MOMENTUM

Lauren Beatty, Marc & Amy Dickmann, The Envoys, Phil & Marilyn Felten , Troy & Christina
Felten, Jason & Kristel Finns, Robert & Tracy Forquer, Jill Rokos Gilmore , Nikki Godfrey-Hill,
Harry Griffin, Steven Hodgen, Chuck & Carol Jarrett, Steve & Peggi Knowe, Ray & Glenna
Leamer, Bryan K. Lewis, Joshua Lewis, Owen & Lauren Lienhard, Seth & Haley McCord,
Brett McDonough, Dave & Ann Nelson, Bryan Norton, Shannon Presler, Cheryl McKay
Price, Cal & Lea Queener, Bill & Debbie Shaw, Bruce & Kathy Simpson, Josh & Whitney
Skeans, Joseph Toth, Rise Ward

23

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Become a Sponsor
Please consider a sponsorship gift today to empower those in need and publicly show your
support for jobs and opportunity in the community. All gifts are tax-deductible.

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plus everything below
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Listed in next zine on the sponsors page
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“Speak Up gave me a chance to
create my own future.”

—said by a once-homelss former magazine vendor
who now owns his own moving company