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“Speak Up for those who cannot speak for
themselves, for the rights of all who are
destitute.”

More than a Magazine Get Involved

Speak Up Magazine is a 501(c)3 non- Volunteers and interns are welcomed for
profit that gives voice to and offers an creative areas, such as photography, editing,
income opportunity for homeless and teaching, and production, design, as well as
vulnerably-housed people. They become fundraising, social services and more. Please
micro-business owners who buy copies contact us to help out.
of Speak Up for a low price and resell
them, keeping all the cash and earning a
profit. As a result, these enterprising street Speak Up is Local
vendors learn to manage their resources,
grow their businesses and change their Unique editions of Speak Up are
lives with dignity. published monthly in Traverse City, MI,
Speak Up is a member of the and Charlotte, NC.
International Network of Street Papers, To explore bringing Speak Up to your
which connects and supports over 100 region, visit speakupmag.org/local.
such organizations worldwide.

This Zine Team Contact

Editing & Writing Clinics Charlotte Office (NC)
Will Vaughan, Peggi Knowe, Ben Shaw, (704) 980-9885
Nate Casey, Liana Harvey, Rob Astor, Lana speakupmag.org
Shaw, Harry Griffin, Melissa Sprenkle, office@speakupmag.org
Bill Shaw, Mary Pierce, Mickey Grooters, 1515 S Mint St,
Deborah Shaw Charlotte, NC 28203

Visuals
Chadborne Whiting, photo processing Traverse City Chapter (MI)
Deb Shaw, photography speakuptc.com
Matt Shaw, photos/design billshaw@speakupmag.org

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VENDOR PROGRAM Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Speak Up vendor?

“Vendor” is the title for the hard-working individuals who distribute Speak Up. Most likely
they are experiencing homelessness or are vulnerably housed. Your purchase of this magazine
is part of their journey out of poverty. You can learn more at speakupmag.org/vendors.

How does someone become a vendor?

1. Sign up & come to an interview
3. Attend the Training Day
4. Sign the Code of Conduct
5. Get 20 free zines and temporary badge
5. Reinvest and attend weekly meetings. Look for a valid Speak Up badge

What if I give money but don’t take the magazine?

Always take the magazine. This individual is out working hard, please don’t make them take a
hand out. Feel free to tip, but always take the product. This gives them dignity, not just money.

But I don’t have any cash!

A few smartphone-equipped vendors can accept a credit card payment. We are also
experimenting with Scan-to-Pay using your cellphone camera (learn more at scan.me). For
now, the best option is to plan ahead and keep a few dollars handy for your favorite vendor.

How can I help?

Here’s one way: Be a friend to the person that sells the magazine. Sit down with them for coffee,
buy them lunch, get to know them. Keep it simple. Healthy and encouraging relationships are
crucial as people build new community and grow in opportunity and perspective.

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VENDOR WEEK
2015

February 2-8, 2015, is
THE BIG SELL OFF.
It is a weeklong partnership between over 100 street
papers and magazines around the world, during which
high profile individuals become vendors for a day to
raise funds for their local street magazines.

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Homelessness is always high stress. Where am I going
sleep tonight? How will I spend my day? Where will I eat?
What is the weather going to be like? How do I stay warm
and dry? Who will I run into? How do I keep my belongings
safe and dry?
—Renee, page 15

Local Letter 06
Cover Vendor: Randy 07
This Ship Called Home 08
The Time Machine 09
Whatsoever 10
Thanksgiving Memories 11
Shock Jock Bullies 12
ASKING For Help 14
Mental Health & THE STREETS 15
DISPATCHES from Mark 16
Poetry & Updates 17
My Life in Music / Music in My Life 18
How it is Supposed to Be 20
Don’t Give Up 21
What Next? 22
Sponsors 23

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[SPEAK UP LOCAL]
STREET MAGAZINES “[A tape recorder] can be used to capture the
thoughts of the non-celebrated—on the steps
challenge the status quo in ofa furnisheda housingapartment,project, in ainframea parkedbungalow,car—andin
these “statistics” become persons, each one
Traverse City and globally unique. I am constantly astonished.—Studs Terkel

After reading some of the articles everything from “Vendor Spotlight”—this
this month, I am astonished at the voice week it was Nadine Gartmann, a vendor
presented. Studs Terkel nailed it when he from Surprise, Switzerland (see below)—
compared the voice of the non-celebrated to investigative journalism, to exclusive
with the celebrated. I have been on the interviews with celebrities.
celebrated side, one says the same thing It is my hope that one-hundred and
over and over. If done well, it is an un- twenty-six papers in forty-one countries
canned, but careful, salable sound bite. will publish the article on page 12, how
Speak up is different. It is the voice of a local radio station has bullied our most
the non-celebrated. It is insightful, caring, vulnerable citizens. That a person who
hopeful, full of poignant memories has experienced homelessness has the
and fears. It identifies the trauma of opportunity to raise their voice and put a
homelessness, but it also gives a platform spotlight on inhumanity and to promote
for them to speak out. It empowers them. positive educated change is good stuff.
That it can do this is one if its most So be astonished at the voice of our
important functions. non-celebrated, and listen to what they
There are one-hundred and twenty- have to say.
six street papers in forty-one countries.
INSP News Service, a member service —Bill Shaw
of the International Network of Street Speak Up Board of Directors
papers, facilitates weekly sharing and Traverse City, MI
translation of top stories and articles,

A Street Vendor with
SURPRISE MAGAZINE
in Switzerland

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[THIS MONTH’S FEATURED VENDOR]
A CHAT WTIH RANDY PARCHER

Lauri Koelsch and Randy Parcher: Photo by Deb Shaw

ARE YOU FROM TRAVERSE CITY? WHERE IS YOUR NUMBER ONE
I was born in Bay City, but I grew up in PLACE TO EAT AND HANG OUT IN
Falmouth. I’ve lived in Grand Traverse TRAVERSE?
County the last thirty-six years. My favorite place to eat is at the
community meals, because that is where
WHAT IS THE BEST MEMORY YOU our friends are. I like to hangout at the
HAVE OF GROWING UP? library.
I grew up in the country. I guess it was
the swimming hole in Clam River. We WHAT IS THE HARDEST PART OF
swam all year long like polar bears. YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?
Being broke all the time and the cold and
WHAT PERSON HAS MEANT THE damp weather. It is hard on me physically.
MOST TO YOU IN YOUR LIFE?
It was a pastor. I don’t remember his WHERE WILL YOU SLEEP TONIGHT?
name, but he showed me how to do a In our Dodge Caravan.
brake job on my car.
WHAT’S A RECENT A MILESTONE?
WHERE AND WHEN DO YOU SELL Selling and writing for the Zine.
YOUR MAGAZINES?
Whenever I can, but mostly Front and WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN
Cass from 7-9pm. FIVE YEARS?
Hopefully off the streets. Hopefully
DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST before five years.
SALE?
Not really. There have been a lot of them. —Interview by Bill Shaw
I think it was at Central.

DO YOU HAVE MANY CUSTOMERS?
Lauri and I have about 460 between us.

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[POETRY]

’95 Subaru Legacy
My White Steed
Well, a vessel more oft I called you:
“The S.S.K. See Jones.”
Indeed, a transformative possession.THIS SHIP This dented body you’ve acquired
Testament to dynamics
Lost in potholes, elegance erased
then traced with dog claws.

There are even still
Samples of DNA CALLED Forest folk fingerprints and
Boot soot from fires both
Appalachian and Anishinaabek.

From the Reservations
I had when I purchased you – NONE. HOME Only the desire to wanderlust
To add another venture before life or some
roof above me
settled.

Shelter felt an obstruction to Creativity
to whom I clung
like the hair of our dogs to your seats
like the Salvation Army’s green beans to his
beard.

You held them too, Subaru! And mobile
Our legacy grew with you
Our son was conceived within you and

The four wheels of our homelessness
still is home where
those concepts of freedom
became the reality of our love.

—Kelsey Jenko
Grand Rapids, MI

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[THE TIMES ARE A CHANGING]
THE TIME
MACHINE When I was a child, things were different. When I was a child, the stories from
We had a crank telephone and a black and the last generation before my youth were
white television with only two channels. In different than mine. Stories of the Great
kindergarten, I walked two miles to school Depression and the changing of the meaning
to one of the last two-room school houses of house power, how machinery changed
in Michigan where they taught K-eighth their world and them. Stories of hope, love
grades. We used a ringer washer and a line and courage in hard times, stories of great
outside to dry the clothes. My mom would men who spoke out without fear for what
spend the fall canning fruits and vegetables was right and the right thing to do. Stories
for the winter. What a change it means to be of a world at war against a man who thought
canning now. that others who were not like him were not
I’ve seen many changes too: the world, human and should be done away with.
the sexual revolution, flower children, wars, Who will write the next great American
and the death of a president whose son gave chapter? Who will tell our stories if no one
a final salute—a gesture that touched the will speak up? Who, if not you and me?
whole world. On television, I heard a man Maybe then someone won’t see the worth
talk of the equality of man; later he was of you and me.
silenced, yet his dream lives on. History
has moved on, and I lived during the times —Randy Parcher
of the stories I relate. These stories are Traverse City, MI
windows into the past just as the stories that
you relate will be.

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[OBSERVATION]

“Whatsoever”

To us, the plaza did not move.
But to this one, muttering man, Almost everyone looked at each other
hair in wandering spirals, and had been moved by
clothes in flagrant rumple, such an alarming occurrence.
eyes in darting search of That is, except the homeless man.
a monetary opportunity– He hadn’t flinched.
this place had lost its balance; Holding his ground,
and it made him swagger step he stared at it all,
his way to the corner. and had no look of curiosity whatsoever.
It all, that plaza, his feet
Until, unbeknownst to us, —now in perfect balance.
an ambulance had turned the corner.
It switched on its siren, jolting us all —Steve
by its loudness and unexpectedness. Traverse City, MI
And, yes, we instantly wondered
where the emergency could be.
What had happened?
Was it close by?

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[GRATITUDE]
THANKSGIVING
MEMORIES

I am grateful for having talks with my
father when I was having problems and
how he would have me sit and think about
what I had done wrong and to realize what
I had to do so I could make it right. I’m
grateful for the love and support of my
family even though they are busy now.
These memories put a smile on my
face and I don’t feel quite lonely and cold.
I am grateful to see and enjoy the warmth of It is hard to be homeless on the holidays,
the sunshine everyday. times when I would out in the cold with nowhere to go to stay
help my mother fix a Thanksgiving dinner, warm or a place to sleep at night, because
learning how to make stuffing the way she everything is closed for the day. I am
did, the aroma of the herbs and seasoning grateful to have my soulmate to keep me
that filled the house with a tantalizing company. He keeps me strong and helps
aroma. I looked forward to the aromas in me through the hard times during the
the air from the turkey baking in the oven holidays and cold night weather.
to the yams baking in the oven with brown I am grateful to be able to have breakfast
sugar and marshmallows turning golden with friends and share coffee during the
brown. White mashed potatoes waiting week with those who take time from their
for the golden brown gravy, the bright red own families during the holidays.
color of the cranberry sauce, and colorful Now that we have Safe Harbor we are
vegetables of celery, carrot sticks, and pickle allowed to stay in for the day and not have
spears. to get up unless we have plans to visit our
While waiting for our feast fit for a families. We are then out until 6 p.m. and
king, we have the noise of the television come back to the warmth of the church
watching the football game, making bets and a hot meal and a mat to sleep on tired
on which team is going to win, learning from the cold winter weather.
how to keep track of the plays my brother
taught me being a football player in high —Laurie Koelsch
school. Traverse City, MI

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[CULTURE] [EDITORIAL]
The SHOCK JOCKS of WKLT who
buly the homeless for a laugh

Currently, the most talked about the Morning Show hosts for numerous
subculture in Traverse City is our ever- reasons. Some of them come in order to
growing homeless population. During be able to attend WKLT’s Camp Omelette
this past summer, there was much ado where the hosts and homeless go camping
concerning the new Safe Harbor and together almost every year and share
the recent opening of Dann’s House alcohol around a campfire while listening
(our local wet house, where homeless to music, among other activities. However,
alcoholics can safely live without needing many more homeless citizens seek them
to quit drinking). There was a flurry out, in spite of the social injustices they
of conversation: town hall meetings, must endure, in order to get on-the-job
newspaper articles and more. training, to be considered “cool” and get
Over the summer, the disc jockeys on to hang out with the hosts, or maybe just
the morning show Omelette and Friends to be able to speak on the radio and have
on WKLT, a local rock station, became that brief moment of fame.
very vocal and opinionated in regard to One of Omelette’s favorite homeless
the Safe Harbor, Dann’s House and the city people to exploit was a man who went by
officials who support them. In past years, the name of Tuna while on the morning
Omelette and Finster (the DJs at the time), show several years ago. Tuna was, and still
have been well-known for using homeless is, a Community Mental Health patient
people to entertain their audiences and who is considered to be permanently
themselves. On the morning of August 6, mentally disabled and is on Social Security
2014, the two hosts were complaining that as a result. Often, he is more childlike than
city officials had accused them of “being adult. Tuna had only one huge dream: to
mean to homeless people” connected one day become a DJ himself.
with Safe Harbor and Dann’s House. Both A comment was made on the morning
hosts were making derogatory comments of August 6 concerning Tuna, whom
toward the wet house and, even more so, Omelette had been allegedly befriending
against homeless citizens. and training to be a disc-jockey for WKLT,
That day, one of the DJs made the “So what…We made Tuna go through a
comment, “Give more alcohol to the car wash. He smelled and needed a bath.”
drunks,” which was directed toward the Then they all laughed.
city concerning the wet house. Another The fact that Tuna was coerced into
remark was made, “We aren’t mean to going through that car wash in the middle
homeless people.” [pause] “We donate of February in the back of a pick-up truck
money to the Cherryland Humane was not mentioned. The same year on
Society.” The statements, “We are a Valentine’s Day, Tuna was sent out by his
rock station. We’re just tryin’ to have “employers” dressed like Cupid, to run
fun,” followed; and this sounded like an around town wearing a diaper, tights and
exceptionally feeble defense. tennis shoes, banging on doors, waking
One of the hosts then declared in strangers up in the early morning hours,
reference to our homeless residents, “We and getting chewed out. All the while, on
don’t go to them. They come to us.” The the air, Omelette and Finster laughed in
two morning show hosts are correct the background.
when they say that homeless people During one of the morning show hosts’
come to them. Homeless people flock to “fun” moments, Tuna was duct-taped to a

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tree while people threw eggs at him. They turned to Halloween, and the caller was
also talked Tuna into letting them make a asked what they were doing at the wet
CD of him singing Christmas carols. They house for Halloween. He communicated
sold the CD’s for $10 each and donated the fact that he was excited about trick-
the proceeds to an animal rescue. Since or-treaters coming to the house. One of
Tuna is tone deaf, it seemed cruel. the DJs then asked him, “What are you
One time, Omelette told Tuna that he guys handing out for treats to the trick-or-
was too fat to be a DJ and made him diet. treaters, Natty Daddys?” (A Natty Daddy
Then he made Tuna put on a Speedo, took is a particularly cheap and foul-tasting can
a photograph of him wearing it, and put of beer that alcoholics often drink because
it on the WKLT website for what seemed of the low cost and high alcohol content.)
like forever. At the time, Omelette told Over the years, and especially this past
Tuna that these stunts were part of a summer, with all of the buzz about the
process called “hazing”…that most people new Safe Harbor and Dann’s House, I have
have to go through it in order to become been tuning into Omelette and Friends,
a DJ, including Omelette himself. Tuna as often as possible to keep track of how
never did realize his dream to become a they treat our homeless people. Their
DJ although he was given small jobs at comments never fail to shock and sadden
WKLT and got paid for them. me. When homeless people appear in the
During a recent personal interview media, they are at the mercy of someone
on October 8, 2014, Tuna claimed that else. There is an enormous imbalance—
the Speedo episode was “the worst thing the broadcasters have the power. Power
they did to me” and that he was “really always comes with responsibility. In
embarrassed.” When asked how Omelette this case, that responsibility has been
and Finster made him feel back then, he repeatedly abused.
replied, “They really made me feel bad Many teens and pre-teens of the
about myself.” There have been other next generation love Rock ’n Roll music
homeless people treated in the same and look up to the DJs at WKLT as role
heinous manner over the years, including models. According to Ryan Hannon,
one who was convinced to shave his head. the Director of Safe Harbor, “some
Some homeless people were bullied into teens were throwing stones at homeless
doing things for the morning show that people during this last summer.” Perhaps
could strip even the strongest human modeling love, kindness and humanity
beings of their self-esteem. to the future guardians of our city would
In late August of this year, one of the be more appropriate. We all want to have
morning show hosts recorded a clip of a fun, but it should not at the expense of the
woman calling in and complaining about downtrodden and defenseless.
how she didn’t appreciate Omelette and Since when did it become okay to
friends making fun of homeless people dehumanize homeless people and so
and that she and her son had once been carelessly eviscerate their self-esteem?
homeless. The radio show host then Is this really just “trying to have fun?” A
replied, “We don’t make fun of homeless little empathy and compassion from the
people.” [silence] And then, “How many talented WKLT morning show hosts and
homeless people does it take to screw in management could impact many. The
a light bulb? None, because they have hope is that they will rise above former
nowhere to put it.” That was, of course, unkind acts and even uplift our beautiful
followed by laughter from the hosts. homeless citizens.
That scathingly cruel clip was then Like the rest of us, homeless people
played repeatedly as a commercial may be flawed, but they are surely just as
between sets of music. human.
More recently, in early October, one of
the gentlemen from Dann’s House called —C. J. Haney
in to the morning Show. The conversation Traverse City, MI

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[HOPE]
ASKING for Help

In the summer of 2011, I was attacked and Harbor people to eat and sleep there. I
beaten with clubs on my ten acres. I was do things like rake leaves, shovel snow or
threatened with a gun and beaten some clean tables.
more. When the beatings were over, they My favorite church is the Central
held a gun on me and told me that I best United Methodist Church. They provide
keep quiet or they will come back and breakfast and showers five days a week.
finish the job. I used to try to be the first in line for
In October 2012, my dog and best the showers. They also have their own
friend, Freedom, was poisoned. He died Outreach workers who are fantastic.
in my arms. I was devastated. After more Donna Weitz, the outreach worker and
acts of violence against me, I left the area. fabulous humanitarian, helped me by
I had never heard of Safe Harbor or The continuing to push me toward other
Jubilee House in Traverse City until I agencies that eventually helped me to get
sought help. I do not seek help easily, but I my own apartment.
knew I seriously needed it. Because of my injuries from the
Goodwill Outreach coordinator, Ryan beatings, I was unable to work and lost my
Hannon, gave me the opportunity to help property. Today, because I kept putting
clean up areas where homeless people had my best foot forward as best that I could, I
abandoned their camps. I also picked up might see my own home in one year.
cigarette butts and trash all over Traverse All because of asking for help…
City area.
I always volunteer to help with —Larry Robinson
projects at the churches that allow Safe Traverse City, MI

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[SANITY]

Mental Health
AND THE STREETS

There are a lot of life issues on the
street. A lot of “non-homeless” people
think of those of us who are “homeless”
as mere “bums” and “drunks.” The reality
is that we “homeless” deal with the same
life issues as those who are not “homeless.”
We may or may not have families. We
suffer the losses of loved ones. We may
be struggling with substance abuse issues. medication for my depression, insomnia,
We may be battling mental health issues. and for my hypothyroidism. In addition
I am a person in recovery from to medications, I attend AA weekly, other
alcoholism. But before my alcoholism, agency-run support groups, and 1:1
there was (and still is) chronic major counseling to learn new coping skills.
depression, anorexia and bulimia, Post The challenge for anyone learning new
Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), coping skills, for any reason, is applying
insomnia, generalized anxiety disorder, what one has learned. This is particularly
and Obsessive Compulsive traits. I also challenging, yet vital, in high stress or
have bone spurs and arthritis, partly a crisis situations. Homelessness is always
result of aging, exacerbated by excessive high stress. Where am I going sleep
amounts of time outside in the elements tonight? How will I spend my day? Where
and all the walking that I have to do. will I eat? What is the weather going to
At present, my anxiety, depression, and be like? How do I stay warm and dry?
PTSD are really kicking my butt, as well Who will I run into? How do I keep my
as bouts of insomnia and the resulting belongings safe and dry? Ad finem.
OCD tendencies, which are attempts to As a person who is experiencing
compensate for the others. homelessness, I face these challenges
Challenges in my mental health daily. Cognitively, I know that the
status tend to increase my vulnerability key to successfully maneuvering these
to potential relapse with regard to my challenges, and therefore successfully
alcoholism. manage both my mental health and my
Anyone who has ever struggled recovery, is to utilize my new coping skills.
with substance abuse issues, or knows However, “knowing” and “doing” are not
someone who has, can likely relate to what yet automatic. I guess, in the end, all I can
I am trying to say. I must successfully do is to keep putting one foot forward in
manage each end of my co-occurring front of the other. Try to live in the “now”
disorders (substance abuse and mental of today, and keep making wise choices.
health diagnoses). When my depression, Finally, I need to learn to ask for help
PTSD, and/or anxiety heighten, my when I need it; a strong arm to steady me
inclination to self-medicate with alcohol instead of a bottle.
increases. When use of alcohol is in —Renee Rop
play, this directly impacts and worsens Traverse City, MI
my depression, etc. At present, I take

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[OBSERVATIONS]
DISPATCHES:
Life On the Edge

In a one bedroom apartment in a
building that looks like it has been through
a mortar attack on the outskirts of Little
Havana, I take refuge from the madness
that lies outside my front door. Miami is
as rough as Los Angeles—a cruel, vicious,
and unforgiving place where I don’t
entirely fit in. At least on the West Coast, I
could blend into the scene.
The first night in my new apartment,
I met a Cuban woman living under the
stairwell next to my front door. In short
order, I put her to work cleaning up the lying upon layers of scavenged cardboard.
aftermath of years of neglect from a The smell of urine burning my nostrils as
landlady who is pre-Alzheimer’s. I walked the streets I once slept on just a
The building sat unoccupied for three- month earlier.
plus years before I arrived. Most of my You can tell those who have formed
time the first night was rousing the drunks street families. They tend to sleep in
and druggies from their spots amongst the groups, usually divided by types of drug
empty, unfinished apartments and kicking usage or race. It’s a human survival
them off the property. instinct whether they realize it or not. The
Even though I myself have been acrid odor from the vaporization of crack
homeless and on the streets, I never took cocaine wafts from one group of people
refuge by squatting in someone else’s and the sickly sweet smell of alcohol from
house. I felt no sympathy for them as I another. All are in various clusters along
escorted them from the property with a a darkened stretch of street right off of
promise of police involvement upon their downtown Miami.
return. Except for the refugee lady, I ran It really doesn’t matter what major
them all off. She hadn’t broken into any of city you’re in. The dynamic is the same,
the apartments. She just had her bedroll whether your homelessness is caused by
under the stairs. She also had a horrific drugs or alcohol or mental illness or just
raspy cough which worried me. sheer bad luck. You will find the group
I offered her my couch in trade for which is best suited to you. I speak of
cleaning, and she agreed, in her humorous the street-dwelling homeless. The most
broken English. She was a blessing, I had chronic of the homeless.
no food, or food stamps, for that matter. I sit on the stairwell outside my
She willingly proffered her SNAP card and apartment and smoke a hand-built
we went to the local supermarket. Other cigarette made from the tobacco of cheap
than the peculiar odor of meat about to cigars rolled into thin graph paper. I know
turn bad and every single sign being in I am still vulnerably housed, just barely
Spanish, I welcomed the nourishment. surviving, yet I am more at peace than I
Later that first night under a roof I have been in year.
went for a walk directly into Miami’s
version of L.A.’s infamous Skid Row. The —Mark Gansert
men and women lined the city sidewalks Miama, FL

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[UPDATES] [THOUGHTS] [POETRY]

could go there to rest. I could sleep, watchMy Safe Place: Kahuna’s movies or just play cards. Kahuna’s home
is a place of comfort, not in the sense of
When I consider a particular place, a place beauty or even in a literal sense of physical
of safety, I suppose I think of Kahuna’s comfort, but a place where the soul can
house. This is the place where I spent live at peace. Kahuna is great person and
most of my time while I experienced welcomes anyone. He does not judge and
homelessness. This is where I could go, always make room to just be.
or anyone could go, just to get away, feel
accepted and just rest. Even if I just didn’t —Sally Smelter,
want to wander the town wasting time, I Traverse City

‘87 Caprice Classic

Slept in my 1987 Chevy Caprice Classic

Behind the church at the top of the hill
on South Airport before Target.

Waking up after a -15 degree windy night
with a half-inch of frost on the inside
of the windows.

—Christopher
Traverse City

Reflections of God

…The birth of a child, the innocence
of youth, the naivety of a young person’s
perception…a soldier’s willingness to
die for what is right, a rescue worker,
the particular way a couple embraces
and reflects the truth of love into one
another’s soul…a true friend, sage advice,
the selflessness of human aide and human majesty. You need only look around not
rights workers, a man who forgives so much with your eyes but more with
another unconditionally…the way a your heart. All things that are good come
homeless person shares with another a from Him, and that is where all good
song, a painting, a poem. The reflection things must return. Let’s be the love.
of divinity is quickly fading from this
world—but if you try, you can still behold —Dustin LaPres
the incandescent sparks of its beauty and Traverse City

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[REMEMBERING]

MUSIC
IN MY
LIFE

When thinking about how sounds and I write, it’s really tough because I have
music have affected my life, the first thing pre-arthritis, and my brain tends to move
that comes to mind is how much TV I faster than my fingers can type or my
was exposed to as a child. From birth, I hand can write. It’s very frustrating and a
assumed the TVs in our home (one or two little bit debilitating at times.
at a time) were supposed to be on from When I was allowed to choose my own
daybreak until bedtime. We did play music and not just listen to classic country
outside most of the day, so I suppose I also and oldies on the car radio during car
was exposed to the sounds of nature too. trips, I really found where my love fell. I
However, we lived by US 31 in Benzonia, felt the music in my soul and throughout
and this was an ongoing, obnoxious my whole body when I would “plug into”
sound night and day. Semi-trucks and my own tunes. I think I had quite the array
loud motorcycles and cars drove by night of music. I mostly had 80/90s pop. With
and day. We lived about a mile down from much influence from my peers, I had
the junction of US 31 and M 115. I never rap, R & B, ICP, Korn and even some soft
really had silence growing up. rock on occasion. When I finally met my
This leads me to explain the outcome now-ex-husband, I was exposed to classic
of this experience. I now suffer from great rock for the first time. I thought my life
anxiety, whether it be in groups of people had CHANGED FOREVER! It all seemed
or at moments of silence. It definitely got to have meaning. It all made sense, so I
worse after my divorce and with children. thought. I now realize it was probably
This has been a big struggle throughout directly related to my relationship with
my upbringing and my adult life. When my then-boyfriend and the love of my

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life. He was my everything, and we made was time to run away from it all.
beautiful children and had approximately I moved to Beaver Island, and my
10 wonderful years. We went through a problems followed. Drugs, alcohol and
phase of about 3-5 years where we were unhealthy encounters followed also.
diehard festival goers and folk music Along with this was still the dark, hard
lovers. This was even more life changing and harsh music that in the past wouldn’t
than the Classic Rock! This had soul, love have pushed me so hard, but with the
and passion. This music had meaning. circumstances I was in, I let it. I let
We followed the Earthworks family and everything go. I was trying to be happy on
many, many more wonderful musicians. the outside but was hurting terribly on the
Kids were by our side for most of it, and inside.
happiness prevailed. Once I finally left that boyfriend, I was
The divorce happened in 2010. introduced to the man who is now a rock,
Then came the dark years of my life my life partner, whom I love spending my
in which my music was sharp, edgy, free time with. Life is back on track, and
a little scary and hurtful even. My life I’m trying to work on getting music back
surrounded that, and THAT surrounded in my life. Folk, bluegrass music and other
my life. I was taken down a bumpy road things take me back to my happy place.
of homelessness and couch-surfing. I
temporarily lost my children and my —Sally Smelter
home. I was dating a guy who was really Traverse City, MI
not healthy for me. My car broke down,
and I lost my job over it. I then decided it

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[FREEDOM]

How it is Supposed to Be

“It was not supposed to be like this!” Community Mental Health affiliate. I put
My clenched-jaw lament reverberated the end of a flashlight between my teeth
into the dark emptiness of night. I and began writing. The light danced
jumped, unaware I had spoken aloud. The across a clean, new sheet of paper. And
increasingly habitual silence had been then it happened.
building for months, days, years…time The words came not from me, but
was no longer specific nor meaningful. through me; and in them, I found a
As my jaw released, I exhaled deeply, salvation no god nor goddess could ever
unaware I had been holding my breath bestow upon me:
for nearly the entire duration of my self- “Let me be of service. Use me. Let me
imposed silence. My guard had slipped, touch someone today that I might uplift
and the words tumbled from my lips and their heart.”
the unchecked tears formed and fell. My I let go of my balloon bouquet of
word-fast was broken. resentments one by one—all the woulda-
I wrapped my arms tighter around shoulda-coulda’s I had been amassing—
myself and huddled deeper into the and watched them disappear into the
folds and pockets of my blanket-turned- night. It was then that I realized, this is
handkerchief as my eyes and nose wept exactly how it is supposed to be.
unchecked for all that I had lost. It was
time to turn the page, burn the book and —Brandalyn
move past what was or was not supposed Traverse City, MI
to be. It simply was what it was. My only
option was to accept the circumstances in
which I found myself and start fighting to
enact a change.
I took out my lesson book for a
writing class that I facilitated at the local

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[INSPIRATION]

driver didn’t even stop. The one witness
called for help. When the ambulance got
there, they had to revive me three times.DON’T GIVE UP!
I suffered a traumatic brain injury and
dozens of broken bones.
I spent six months in the hospital.
After coming home to heal, I was anxious
to get back to work. I tried, but was not
physically able to. My job covered my
doctor bills, but back at home, I had no
way to support myself. I was afraid that
I would find myself homeless again.
Over the last three years, I’ve had about
ten surgeries and and fell into a deep
depression. A lawyer started a disability
case for me, but it didn’t seem to be going
anywhere fast.
I started attending a church, New Life
Trinity. It was there that I really learned
the power of prayer. I was told that God
didn’t bring me through all of that to let
me fall on my face.
I was in the hospital and had my
gallbladder removed when I got a call
from my lawyer telling me that my case
After fighting what I thought was a concerning the accident was denied. In a
losing battle with drugs, hopelessness not-so-nice-way I told him exactly where
and homelessness, my Heavenly Father I was: having surgery as a result of the
answered one of my prayers and took the accident! So they filed an appeal.
taste of crack cocaine from my mouth. When my appeal date came, I got the
Family and friends saw that I was trying times mixed up. That morning when I
to do something different and reached out didn’t show up, they called me and said the
their hands to help me. judge was going to drop the case because
After that, I had gainful employment I wasn’t there. I was frantic. I called my
doing building maintenance and lawyer and said that I was on the way. I
housekeeping for Bank of America. Talk got onto the light rail train, but almost
about a come on for an ex-crackhead. I immediately it started slowing down.
had a stable place to live, and at the time, What was happening? The conductor
life was good. I remember feeling like I announced that there was another train
was a productive part of society. broken down up ahead, and we would be
An unbelievable opportunity came delayed. I couldn’t believe my bad luck.
my way to work and live on the largest But then I thought about all the work
passenger train in the world with the and prayers I’d put in, and the others who
famous Barnum and Bailey Circus. I was prayed with and for me. I had to hold
divorced, and my child was grown and on on to hope! At that moment, my lawyer
her own. Hey, why not? called and said, “You don’t have to come.
Those were the best three years of my The judge is going to award it to you!”
life. The circus trained me as a brake and Now that’s God showing up and out!
airline mechanic, and I travelled all over So when things simple impossible, just
the U.S. don’t give up.
Three years ago, we were in Austin, TX,
and I left the train on my bicycle to go to —Michal Smith
the store when I was struck by an SUV. The Charlotte, NC

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[AMBITION]

What am I going to do next?

I was asked this question at my writing to speak openly to them: no judgment, no
class, and here is my answer. Well that is egos out here, just real Americans who
a direct question, so I will give a direct have been ripped off by society, especially
answer: the very same thing I am doing my Warrior Brothers and Sisters, the
right now. I am being obedient to my veterans! They are surely America’s BEST!
Lord, first and foremost! They deserve better than homelessness.
Right now, my life could not be much So I plan to do as I do now. In my
fuller. The joy I have is truly unspeakable future, I hope to bring national awareness
and full of the Lord’s glory. I daily have of the CRISIS IN AMERICA—THE
the privilege of living among the very best HOMELESS VETERAN! This SHOULD
of people, my homeless family. Right now, NEVER, EVER BE IN MY AMERICA!
I am so much closer to many out here, SO I WILL USE THE POWER OF THE
yes, closer than to my own family! Last PEN TO BRING THIS AWARENESS TO
year at this time, I was so, so alone even ALL AMERICANS!
though I was surrounded by my OWN.
Many of my family were only one mile —Franky Faunce
away, yet I never saw them. So, now I see Traverse City, MI
the people I have come to love daily. I get

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[GIVING] [OPPORTUNITY]
Much gratitude to Speak Up’s sponsors:

TRANSFORMED THE COMMUNITY
CHANGED PERCEPTIONS
GAVE A VOICE

SARAH
TRULASKE

watershedtc.org

THE
ANONYMOUS WADSWORTH
HOUSE

thewadsworthhouse.com

PROMOTED OPPORTUNITY
STARTED A CONVERSATION
SUSTAINED MOMENTUM

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Become a Sponsor
Please consider a sponsorship gift today to empower those in need and publicly show your
support for jobs and opportunity in the community. All gifts are tax-deductible.

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“Speak Up gave me a chance to
create my own future.”

—said by a once-homelss former magazine vendor
who now owns his own moving company