Zine 12 – Speak Up Magazine

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December 2014 | Issue 6 | $1.00 Donation

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“Speak Up for those who cannot speak for
themselves, for the rights of all who are
destitute.”
—Proverbs 31:8

More than a Magazine Get Involved

Speak Up Magazine is a 501(c)3 non- Volunteers and interns are welcomed for
profit that gives voice to and offers an creative areas, such as photography, editing,
income opportunity for homeless and teaching, and production, design, as well as
vulnerably-housed people. They become fundraising, social services and more. Please
micro-business owners who buy copies contact us to help out.
of Speak Up for a low price and resell
them, keeping all the cash and earning a
profit. As a result, these enterprising street Speak Up is Local
vendors learn to manage their resources,
grow their businesses and change their Unique editions of Speak Up are
lives with dignity. published monthly in Traverse City, MI,
Speak Up is a member of the and Charlotte, NC.
International Network of Street Papers, To explore bringing Speak Up to your
which connects and supports over 100 region, visit speakupmag.org/local.
such organizations worldwide.

This Zine Team Contact

Editing & Writing Clinics Charlotte Office (NC)
Will Vaughan, Peggi Knowe, Ben Shaw, (704) 980-9885
Nate Casey, Robb Astor, Lana Shaw, Harry speakupmag.org
Griffin, Melissa Sprenkle, Bill Shaw, Mary office@speakupmag.org
Pierce, Mickey Grooters, Deborah Shaw, 1515 S Mint St,
Leah Burnett Charlotte, NC 28203

Visuals
Chadborne Whiting, photo processing Traverse City Chapter (MI)
Deb Shaw, photography speakuptc.com
Matt Shaw, photos/design billshaw@speakupmag.org

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VENDOR PROGRAM Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Speak Up vendor?

“Vendor” is the title for the hard-working individuals who distribute Speak Up. Most likely
they are experiencing homelessness or are vulnerably housed. Your purchase of this magazine
is part of their journey out of poverty. You can learn more at speakupmag.org/vendors.

How does someone become a vendor?

1. Sign up & come to an interview
3. Attend the Training Day
4. Sign the Code of Conduct
5. Get 20 free zines and temporary badge
5. Reinvest and attend weekly meetings. Look for a valid Speak Up badge

What if I give money but don’t take the magazine?

Always take the magazine. This individual is working hard, please don’t make them take a
hand out. Feel free to tip, but always take the product. This gives dignity, not just money.

But I don’t have any cash!

A few smartphone-equipped vendors can accept a credit card payment. We are also
experimenting with Scan-to-Pay using your cellphone camera (learn more at scan.me). For
now, the best option is to plan ahead and keep a few dollars handy for your favorite vendor.

How can I help?

Here’s one way: Be a friend to the person that sells the magazine. Sit down with them for coffee,
buy them lunch, get to know them. Keep it simple. Healthy and encouraging relationships are
crucial as people build new community and grow in opportunity and perspective.

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THE BIG SELL OFF

[February 2-8, 2015]

THE BIG SELL OFF is weeklong global fundraiser during which non-
homeless individuals become vendors for a few hours to raise funds
for their local street magazines. This fun event is a chance for you to
walk in the shoes of a magazine vendor, raise money for Speak Up and
support a community of inspiring micro-business people.

learn more & sign up:
SPEAKUPMAG.ORG/thebigselloff

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I have seen the fear in the eyes of those who are homeless for the
first time—even military veterans who have seen the horrors of
war. The color drained from their faces, the shock of realization
as they lay down on their bedding in the shelter for the night.
—Mark, page 22

An Invitation 06
Cover Vendor: Renee 07
Not Home for the Holidays 08
Reflections of Winter 09
Unmentionables 10
Fifty-five and Still Alive 11
Safe Harbor Ruckus 12
Found & Lost 13
Homeless for Christmas 14
Make of it What You Will 15
DAG Words 16
The Current 17
Cast Away 18
Quiet Strength 20
Lost & Found 21
Shelter Shock 22
Sponsors 23

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[LOCAL LEADER]
AN INVITATION TO THE COMMUNITY

By Dr. Melissa Sprenkle in Traverse City, MI

As a member of the Speak Up Traverse
City Advisory Board and as a leader of one
of the Zine’s writing workshops, it is my
privilege to welcome you to this issue. This
fall, our work with the writers in this Zine
has also received the support of the NMC
Foundation.
The homeless writers of Speak Up are
issuing an invitation to community readers.
If you would like to know what the day-to-
day realities of living homeless or roofless
are, these writers are telling you their
stories. If you have wondered why they are
homeless, some of them will tell you about
events that led them down that path. If you
ask how family and friends react when a
person becomes homeless or how a mother
feels when her child is living on the streets
during the holidays, some of our writers will
share those stories as well.
Some stories are funny, and others are
difficult to hear. Over the past six months as
I’ve listened to stories in the Zine’s writing
workshops, my own understanding has
deepened and my heart has opened as I have
learned more about those in our area who
are currently living homeless or have lived
homeless in the past.
As a relative newcomer to Traverse
City, I have learned more about this
community and have felt welcomed by
the Zine’s workshop participants who are
self-proclaimed outsiders. A few weeks
ago, a young woman visited our workshop
and revealed that she had recently become
homeless and did not know what to do. Our
regular participants gave her information
about where she could get help and how
she could stay off the streets. If you want
to know something about how community
members help each other, you’ll find those
stories here as well.

Dr. Sprenkle is a
Communications Instructor at
Northwestern Michigan College

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[THIS MONTH’S FEATURED VENDOR]
A CONVERSATION WITH RENEE ROP

Interview by Rob Astor in Traverse City, MI

RENEE, DID YOU GROW UP IN
TRAVERSE CITY?
No, I grew up in Richland, Michigan,
near Kalamazoo. I came to Traverse City
in 2005 for treatment at the Dakoske
Rehab Center. Afterwards, I got a job at
a transition house and liked the area, so
I stayed.

TELL ME ABOUT SOMEONE WHO
WAS AN INSPIRATION TO YOU
GROWING UP?
My grandmother, Rop, was a really
loving and unconditional woman. We
used to paint ceramic angels and animals
together. She’d give them to me to take
home. I’d spend weekends with her and
my grandfather. She worked for a paper
company, and he drove semis. I lost
the figurines though, when I became
homeless in 2007. AND WHERE WILL YOU SLEEP
TONIGHT?
HOW ARE YOUR MAGAZINE SALES At the Women’s Resource Center. I’ve
GOING? been there about a month. They’ve
Good. I sold my first one out on the helped me out of an abusive situation.
sidewalk in front of Brilliant Books back
in September or October. I sell them WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN
mostly to friends, but I’m thinking of FIVE YEARS?
selling at the State Theatre or at some of Doing substance abuse counseling and
the local churches. care management. I have a Master’s
Degree in Counseling, and now that I
WHERE ARE YOUR FAVORITE have personal experience being on the
PLACES TO EAT AND HANG OUT IN street and in recovery, I would like to
TC? parlay this into helping others.
I like to hang out at Horizon Books. They
have good coffee, and I like to sit by the HOW HAS THE RECENT WINTRY
front window and watch what’s going on WEATHER AFFECTED YOU?
out on the street. I like to eat at North Oh, it’s aggravating my arthritis, affecting
Peak when I have the money. I love their my mood, and making me tired.
Portabella Steak Salad. Sometimes it’s a struggle to stay warm
and dry.
WHAT’S THE HARDEST PART OF
YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?
Staying sober and recovery. I’ve been
sober four and a half months.

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[STRUGGLE]
NOT HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

By CJ Haney in Traverse City, MI

home during those heartbreaking times.
I wouldn’t allow it. It was so horribly
depressing to me that I just couldn’t do it.
I’m unable to go into places that sell
Christmas gifts…I see the gifts knowing
that I can’t give him one, because as a
parent, I cannot enable him any longer.
I avoid stores like the plague and give
money for Christmas to my daughter and
her family or jewelry because there aren’t
many decorations in jewelry stores.
Of course, I had to go spend Christmas
Eve with relatives…so glad to be with
them, yet trying so hard not to burst into
tears and let them see the pain inside and
possibly ruin their Christmas too. A flurry
of fake smiles, picking at the food. How
can I eat knowing that my loved one is out
there with nothing. Worrying endlessly: Is
he ok? Is he sad? Is he alone? A little angry
because, if he was only clean, I could let
him stay with me. Begging God to please
take from him the disease of addiction so I
can have him with me and pamper him at
Christmas. Finally, leaving the relatives…
my daughter and her family…my beautiful
grandchildren…and going home to my
bedroom sobbing…tears and snot all over
my pillowcase.
Christmas…a holiday that I have loved Finally, I can breathe again by the New
so much ever since I can remember. My Year, vowing to myself and him that next
mother always loved Christmas and made Christmas will be perfect. Later in the
each one beautiful and memorable. As an year, I realize that it is not my promise
adult, I did the same for my family—a feast to make for I have no control over any of
with all of the trimmings. All the relatives it. I can at least dare to have hope again.
and friends were there, lavish gifts and, best Maybe, just maybe, it will be better next
of all, Midnight Mass with red and white year.
poinsettias and candlelight glowing against I am not alone. Many people suffer with
stained glass windows. this dilemma during the holidays. This
Celebrating Christmas became year, however, I am one of the few lucky
horribly painful and a chore once I had parents who has a child who struggled
to spend a few with a loved one with an with addiction and homelessness–
addiction. Sometimes he was homeless because he has finally beaten it, which
and other times incarcerated. Suddenly, is rare. He says that God took away the
there was no Christmas tree, decorations, addiction. I am so grateful and thankful.
holiday meal, chocolate, oranges,nuts, This year will be one to remember! Thank
gifts or even a sprig of mistletoe at my God.

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[CHILL]
REFLECTIONS OF WINTER

By Randy Parcher in Traverse City, MI

They asked us to write about last winter, the grew way too fast, and yet still I removed the
beast at the door that won’t go away. The snow and ice. In spite of that, there was still
winter that had wind chills that bit down to time for snowball fights, snow angels, and
the bone and made blood freeze in our veins. snowmen and the ever-changing seasons.
Cold even when inside, longing for spring. Thoughts of the winters, of the fall of my
But this made me think of other winters, life, the children having started their own
as I’m in the winter of my life, having seen journeys into their own seasons. The halls
many ever-changing seasons. echo the silence with a challenging roar;
I thought about the winters, of the the home is just a house and nothing more.
spring of my life, when I was a child filled Time for me and my soul mate to get to
with the wonders of the changing seasons. know one another again, not knowing that
The wonders of the first snowfall changing this house that we called home would soon
the world into a marshmallow landscape, be gone–leaving us adrift, lost to time and
blanketing the ground in a goosedown the ever-changing seasons.
covering of white. Snowball fights, sledding, Now we come to the winters, of the
and an army of snowmen guarding a fort winter of my life. The cold seems colder and
of snow, hours spent in the cold followed the days grow shorter each day, the nights
by hot chocolate and the ever-changing longer and longer each year. All that is left
seasons. is memories and dreams, some sweet and
Thoughts of the winters, of the summers some bitter, but still all mine, something that
of my life, the beginning of working and no one can take from me. Growing closer to
building a family of my own, moving the long winter and the long sleep, for when
onward into adulthood. Removing snow this winter comes, and we all must face this
and ice and seeing winter with disdain winter, we begin to dwell upon what comes
instead of wonder. Losing time that could next, hoping that the ever-changing seasons
have been spent with my children as they bring a new spring.

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[TRUTH]
UNMENTIONABLES

By Renee Rop in Traverse City, MI

Life on the streets is ROUGH: Where to
sleep without being harassed; how to keep
oneself and one’s valuables safe and dry;
how to stay warm. Where is the nearest
public restroom? One does not wish to get
a loitering ticket, or even worse, a public
urination charge, which is actually a CSC
(Criminal Sexual Conduct) charge. Life on
the street is even more difficult for women.
Safety and security are always at odds with
being “out there” among the rest of society rent. In a tent near others, presumably
at large. for safety, one cannot lock oneself in. We
Life on the street can be dangerous, discover this only by experience. I have tried
even in our community. There is theft, to warn “newbies,” generally to no avail.
often among our own (homeless), if you We think we are among friends; protectors.
can imagine stealing from another who We have even less credibility than the
has so little. There is violence. This often average citizen within the community with
accompanies theft. Violence against local law enforcement. Who is going to do
our brothers and sisters. There is sexual anything? What will be the consequences
assault. Rape. Unfortunately, this is almost of reporting?! It is a fact that we must
commonplace among our alleged brothers continue to walk these same streets among
and our sisters. The incidents of sexual our perpetrators. There is fear of retribution.
assault rise incrementally with the use of Making a “report” does not get the offenders
alcohol (or other drugs). off the street immediately, if ever.
Women who are homeless are less visible I know many women in the homeless
than the men. I hesitate to mention acts of community who have been sexually
violence because the community already assaulted by our own. I am among these
has a poor image of “us.” Yet because this has ranks. If we talk about this at all, it is among
been so unmentionable, it has become one each other – those who understand and
more reason such violence continues. Don’t those who comprehend the “whys” of not
worry; it doesn’t happen in your backyard reporting versus “judging” of the silence.
or driveway. It happens under bridges and I guess this is my attempt to “Speak Out”
in wooded areas. It happens in the dark. It and “Speak Up” about this form of violence.
happens when couchsurfing or in tents. But Not much can be done about it. Awareness,
it happens. It happens often when we are maybe. Some might say this is fatalistic,
asleep, unconscious, in a blackout, or too but it’s simply the reality. It is unlikely that
impaired or outnumbered to fight back. these incidents will begin to be reported. It’s
I feel compelled to mention it, because it unlikely others will notice and intervene.
does happen and is even less reported than As homeless, we are often viewed as non-
sexual assault among the non-homeless in members of society. There is no justice
the community. for us. I mean, seriously, look at the stink
“Why?” you may ask. Many are the created when we try to build a new shelter.
reasons. Often alcohol is involved. An Many do care, but most do not. “Not in our
unspoken code is if you drink with the neighborhood.” “Not on our streets.” “Not in
guys, sexual assault may sadly be a part of our city.” And so, under the bridges and into
the price of hanging with the guys. If you the woods we go where There is no safety,
are couchsurfing, it may be the undiscussed no security, and no witnesses.

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[CELEBRATION OF LIFE]
FIFTY-FIVE & STILL ALIVE

By Larry Robinson in Traverse City, MI

As I remember almost losing my life this summer
I can tell you for certain, it was definitely a bummer
Freedom & I are now living in my RV with very little heat
I vow to the Greater Whole that I will never again be beat

With no money to buy my grandchildren anything new for them
Having them in my life, they are my favorite gem
If I could sell all that I have and save my land, it would be told
My grandchildren can certainly have it, if I may be so bold

In all my pains I realize that I am no longer Super Hippie
As I now walk through this life, I may seem a little gimpy
When I was younger, I could climb many size trees
And back then I seemed to do it with such ease
It was nothing to jump from a roof to the ground
Hitting the ground, tuck & roll, all in a single bound

Beer when it’s near, wine to dine,
Liquor is quicker; but with booze ya lose
And on the Good Red Road,
I try not to make booze what I choose

Now when people’s integrity is just faked
All I really want to do is get really baked
Most of my Native Elders have passed onto some place that is not new
I will always treasure the wonderful knowledge they shared of what they knew
With Song Bird as my great Clan
I will certainly figure out a plan

This life of mine sure does go fast
What is done for Christ is all that will last
I am now 55 and still alive
And pray my friendships will last

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[ESSAY]
SAFE HARBOR RUCKUS

By Renee Rop in Traverse City, MI

Here it is, October 28. Temperatures have fairly frequent. Wet shoes and gloves do not
cooled. Rain and drizzle are upon us. prevent frostbite but actually hasten it.
There are occasional peeks of sunshine. It is It’s this not-in-our-neighborhood
supposed to snow on Halloween. The kids mentality that perpetuates discrimination.
may have to wear their winter jackets under Yes, you are being discriminatory. Toward
or over their costumes. Daylight Savings is the homeless. Toward the mentally ill.
on Sunday. The long, dark days will become Toward those in recovery. Toward victims
even longer as winter approaches. of domestic and sexual violence. Shelters
Safe Harbor opens on Saturday, and rehabs and AFC’s are fine, a good idea
November first. The guests of Safe Harbor even, just “not in my neighborhood.” Well
will begin their weekly rounds with the folks, get used to the idea.
community churches, entering the churches I am a homeless woman who is 50 years
between 6-8 pm and leaving in the mornings of age and in recovery. I have a Master’s
by 7:30-8 am. And yes, at some point, we Degree in Counseling from Michigan State
will be in all your neighborhoods. University. Almost a second Master’s Degree
The irony of this entire “ruckus” over in Sociology, Restorative Justice, and Film
a permanent location for Safe Harbor Studies from Central Michigan University.
simply stupefies me. I mean, really, we, the I enjoy reading and writing and viewing
homeless, are already everywhere! We are movies. I have contributed numerous pieces
already in the Wellington neighborhood to the Zine. Some of you may have even
every day. At least while at Safe Harbor in read me a bit. You may have seen me on the
the evenings, we will be “supervised.” street. You may have even been someone
The Wellington neighborhood residents who was kind enough to help me this past
and businesses’ feelings are hurt. They don’t spring or early summer when I was really in
feel listened to. Welcome to our world. The a bad way. Thank you for your kindness and
neighborhood of the homeless. You are your lack of judgment.
worried that “If they build it, we will come?” I am not a bad person; I have made poor
Here is a news flash, we are already here. choices. These have gotten me stuck in a rut.
We have been here for a while now. Years. This is the case for most of my brothers and
Decades, some. sisters as well. We are not bad people. You
You are afraid of us? We the “invisible are reading our words if you picked this up.
people”? Really?! Perhaps you could pass this Zine on to a
Come winter, we are more visible. We friend who needs his or her lens widened.
are the ones you see in heavier winter coats. This “ruckus.” This “not-in-our-
Sometimes multiple coats. We are outside neighborhood” mentality keeps prejudice
much of the day. As a result, we don’t have alive and well. It keeps you the “us” and we
the luxury of a fashionable coat to simply the “them.” Neighbors divided.
get us from the car to work, from the house
to the store, from the car to the house. No,
we dress in multiple layers to stay warm.
We carry backpacks on top of our multiple
layers. We wear second-hand boots, if we
wear boots at all. Socks!! How many of you
worry about if you have enough socks?
Warm socks? Dry socks? We do. Socks are a
hot commodity to those of us living on and
off the streets. Frostbite to exposed limbs is

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[POETRY]
FOUND AND LOST

By Steve Morris in Traverse City, MI

From the cart held by rope to the back of his rusted bicycle,
He showed me many things he’d found:
Six hockey pucks from a melted rink,
A naughty heads-and-tails coin,
A name tag belonging to someone named Terry,
Sea gull feathers– of course,
Silver and turquoise earrings,
Many cans for their ten-cent deposit return,
A child’s glittery fairy wand,
A left-over pasta salad in a to-go container from last night,
And—the most valuable of all:
A hand mirror, exquisitely carved from wood.
He offered me this mirror for free.
Heh, heh—a bit of a laugh came.
And then said: I got no use for this.
And shuffled through it for–

Etc…

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[HOLIDAYS]
HOMELESS FOR CHRISTMAS

By Laurie Koelsch in Traverse City, MI

It was a cold, heavy wet snow, a miserable Once as I was sitting in the warmth, I
time to have nowhere to be, feet wet and started remembering how Christmas was
cold with no way to keep them dry or put when I was a child. The house was fully
dry socks on. It was too cold to even sleep decorated, stockings by the fireplace waiting
in our vehicle. My soulmate was not feeling for Santa to come, finding it hard to sleep,
well. He was having signs of a heart attack. up at the crack of dawn waiting for my
He had surgery. We really needed a warm parents to get out of bed, finding which
place to be or the doctor would not release presents were mine without moving them.
him from the hospital. They knew we were How the house smelled of fresh baked sugar
homeless at the time. We slept one night in cookies, cooling, waiting for us to decorate
the van after he got out but it was too cold them, fresh baked pies, homemade peanut
for him. I finally found help in getting us brittle, and other candy treats my parents
out of the cold; I had talked to an outreach had made. The family and relatives getting
person and a pastor from a church to help us together, telling stories about how it was
get a room for two weeks for Christmas. We when they were growing up and the toys
were very grateful for this time being out of they received for Christmas.
the wet and cold, trying to keep from getting All of these wonderful memories put
sick. It was a real treat for us to be able to warmth and happiness back in me for the
sleep in a warm bed, to watch television, spirit of Christmas. In my heart, that gives
and a few Christmas movies like White me my holiday smile and love once more.
Christmas. The toys were so much different back when
This was before we found out about Safe my parents were children. Toys were made
Harbor. Christmas was better; I was happier of wood then. My father showed me his one
to have my soulmate with me considering special toy—it was a metal goose that he
how it could have been cold and lonely had to wind up and its head would move
without him, his funny sense of humor to up and down. I was so fascinated to learn
keep me smiling through the hard times. He more about their childhood. This is how my
is my shining armor. He keeps me happy and Christmas spirit stays warm instead of the
feeling loved when I start feeling like there is cold lonely feelings of being homeless for
no hope left in getting out of the cold. Christmas.

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[YOUTH]
MAKE OF IT WHAT YOU WILL

By W. Yoveenah C. in Traverse City, MI

I am a teenager in society, a daughter resources. My hands are buried. I long for
to parents and a sister to four siblings, the warmth of a home, the warmth of love,
a girlfriend to someone who saved me. yet the winter keeps me numb, keeps me
Whoever knew life could be so lonely? cold. Why not freeze these racing thoughts
In this world we talk of compassion, lost in the mind maze of foolishness? I think
peace and love but receive and see so very so hard, so much until pitch black falls from
little of it. Home is where it all begins, isn’t the sky into my mind.
it? The same home that pushed me out, My blurred conscience is awakened by
the same home that crumbled my insides, distant conservations, the screeching of the
and the same home where I screamed, playground apparatus and the laughter of
pleaded and cried. Now, standing between kids. My legs begin walking before my mind
everything I have ever known and life on is fully aware of the condition that I am in.
my own, I walk. I walk away from all the Parents cover the eyes of their kids as I begin
disappointments, all the misunderstandings to wonder what to do next. Days and weeks
and all the misjudgments to prove my go by and I wonder, would anybody care?
dedication and what I believe to be right. Just another teenage drama.
Now, the bitter cold enters my bones.
December 26th never felt so lonely. I’m on
the park bench I’ve walked by thousands
of times taking for granted its valuable

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[OBSERVATIONS]
SOME WORDS

By David Alan Goldberg in Charlotte, NC

COFFEE
In my youth and for many years, I would
drink at least six cups of coffee daily, the
strength of motor oil used in NASCAR.
Pardon the pun, but it fueled my
creativity in ways better than anything
else. I am still running off the fumes.

ETHICS
Tactfulness, propriety, punctuality,
fairness, humility. A little bit of each,
practiced sincerely and consistently goes
a long way. However, at the end of the day,
and after several excellent cappuccinos,DIRT we all poop.
Dirt, being dirty, is a wide and varied
substance. It could be the dirtiest of
all dirt, or not so much. What are we talking about in relation to dirt, really? SHOP
Dust bunnies under the couch or Miley Blume Junior High School, Wapakoneta,
Cyrus? Ohio. I attended seventh and eighth
grade there in the late 1970s. Its claim to
fame is that the first man on the moon,
Neil Armstrong, attended Blume whenHUMAN RACE he was a kid. In eighth grade, I took
I ran. I ran so far away. When I was on wood and metal shop in one of the
the streets, it was all this human could same classrooms where Armstrong was
do to maintain any reasonable amount taught. After the ‘78-’79 school year,
of sanity. San Francisco, Portland, across there was a parade honoring the ten-
town, down the block. Away. Anywhere year-anniversary of the moon landing. I
but here. got to shake his hand.

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[REFLECTION]
THE CURRENT

By S.A. in Traverse City, MI

Homelessness is not a static thing. Many who has lost their family? Do you believe
people with experiences of homelessness that these situations define a person or
(either in terms of physical shelter or make them any less a part of the local
otherwise) are passing through or have community?
passed through it. Homelessness has Consider these questions for yourself
touched my life in numerous ways including and those around you. As the cost of food,
having stayed in a homeless shelter for about fuel, housing and health care continue
five weeks. I was grateful for that temporary to rise and wages fail to keep pace, how
housing and the tools they made available to might we prevent more people from falling
me such as an address, phone number and into housing-vulnerable situations? Is
office supplies when applying for jobs. Still, there something you can do, even just the
it was an experience I hope I do not have slightest kindness, to help lift someone out
to repeat. It was the kindness of others that of a housing-vulnerable situation or ease
made all the difference. Even simple things their suffering—as someone may have
like a job recommendation or character done for you when you were in transition?
reference. What about the young people around you?
Think of your economic situations over Homelessness is not age-specific and is often
the span of your lifetime. Have you ever triggered simply by the loss of a job. Might
sunk close to or below the poverty line? we begin by taking a moment to observe the
Have you ever been at risk of losing your current of homelessness tangent to our own
apartment or known anyone who has lives?
lost their home to foreclosure? Have you
ever stayed with friends or family while
in transition—or do you know someone

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[TRAGEDY]
CAST AWAY

By MB in Traverse City, MI

When the stores opened, my Momma
took me to Kmart and bought me a dress.
I always got the dresses Madison didn’t fit
into anymore, but this time I was getting a
brand new one of my very own. I took a long
time to pick out my new dress. There were
so many pretty ones at the store, and I didn’t
want to pick the wrong one.
Momma started to get mad at me
because I was taking too long. I finally
decided I wanted the red t-shirt dress with
the little baby bugs on the collar. Momma
bought me new white tights and shiny black
shoes to go with it.
We drove home, and I held the bag
with my new clothes in it. I was thinking,
everybody thinks Mady is prettier than me,
but that’s just because she gets all the new
dresses. Wait till they see mine! Momma
said I had to go to the doctor’s today and she
wants me to wear my new dress. I can’t wait
to put it on. of a building that said “Child and Family
Daddy was mean when we got home. He Services” on the door. Daddy’s truck was
got mad at Momma for wasting money on already parked there. I was confused because
me. Now I felt bad about my new clothes. I I thought we were going to the doctor’s, and
thought that he might make Momma take Daddy never goes to the doctor’s office with
them back to the store, but he didn’t. Mommy and me.
It was almost time for my doctor’s Momma got out of the car, and Daddy
appointment and I put on my new dress. I walked up to us. Momma was still mad and
looked at myself in the mirror at the top of so was Daddy. I wanted them both to be
the dresser. I sort of looked pretty. Momma happy, so I sang a song we learned at school
had bleached my hair the night before and as we walked to the building. My music
put it in curlers. It is all blond now, but too teacher at school says I have a pretty voice
curly. I brushed it and put in a barrette. and I thought it would cheer everybody up
We got in the car and Momma seemed to hear me sing.
like she was mad at me. I bet it was because “Shut up, Nevaeh,” Daddy told me. He
she had wasted money on my new dress and opened the door and we walked in. There
Daddy was mad at her. “Why does Daddy was a waiting room just like at my other
hate me?” I asked Momma when we were in doctor’s office. I wondered if I got a new
the car. “Nevaeh, he doesn’t really hate you,” doctor because they found out about the bad
she told me gently. “Besides, I have always thing that Daddy does to me. I was scared.
loved you the best, because of your big I didn’t want to get into trouble. Momma
brown eyes.” I felt happy and sad at the same went to the desk and whispered to the lady.
time. I didn’t want Noah and Mady to know She looked around the corner and smiled at
that Momma loved me best, but it made me me. She had bad teeth.
happy that she did. The chairs in the waiting room were
We drove into a parking lot in front made of hard blue plastic. Momma told me

Page 19

Momma came out a few minutes later
with the lady that I hoped was my doctor,
and she went out the door too. I got up to
go with her, but the lady stopped me. “Hello,
Nevaeh. Can I talk to you for a minute,” she
asked me in a baby voice. I wanted to be
nice and to see my new doctor, but I guess
Momma and Daddy forgot for her to see
me, and now it was time to go.
“My mom’s leaving,” I told the lady.
“Sweetie,” she said, “that’s what I want to
talk to you about. You are going to stay here
with me.”
“Why?” I knew something was wrong,
because Momma had started the car and
was starting to leave. I had to hurry or she
might forget she brought me to the doctor’s
at all.
“Nevaeh, honey, you are going to stay
here with me and I am going to take you to a
new home to live at.”
to wait in them while she and Daddy went “I want to go home with my mom,” I told
to talk to the doctor. I hoped the doctor her. Now I was really scared. Momma was
wouldn’t get mad at Daddy for the bad thing starting to drive away. I pulled my arm away
he does to me. It is my fault anyway. I kind of from the doctor and ran outside after her.
let him do the bad thing so he won’t hate me “Momma, wait.” I yelled.
so much and maybe he will even love me. I tried to catch her, but she pulled out
Momma and Daddy went back into onto the road before I could. The lady
an office with a lady who looked nice. She caught me and held me from behind so
smiled, said hello to me, and said my name I could not get away. I kicked my legs and
the right way. Nobody knows how to say my screamed. “Please! Please let me go! I’ll be a
name if they don’t know me and just read it good girl! Promise! I promise! Please I want
on a paper or something. “It’s Nuh-vey-uh,” to go home with my Momma! Please! I’ll be
I tell them after they say it wrong a couple of good, I promise. Please! I don’t want a new
times. My new dress is really pretty. I’m glad home to live at! Please! I want to go home
Daddy didn’t make Momma take it back to with my mother! Please! I want Mady and
the store. Noah! PLEASE! MOMMA! PLEASE!”
I sat in the waiting room and prayed that I got away from the lady and ran out
Daddy wouldn’t get into trouble, but they onto the road, but Momma’s car was already
were in the doctor’s office for a long time, gone. “MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA!” I
and I got scared. I swung my legs under the screamed over and over as loud as I could. I
blue plastic chair because it had a high seat was crying so hard that I fell in the grass. I
and my feet didn’t touch the floor. After a got my new dress dirty, but it didn’t matter
long time, Daddy came through the door. anymore. My Momma was gone, and the
He still looked mad. I was afraid he was lady said she was not coming back. Momma
going to whip me, but he just walked out to didn’t even tell me goodbye.
his truck and left.

Page 20

[WARNING]
QUIET STRENGTH

By Frankie Faunce in Traverse City, MI

Evil comes in the night. She is a beautiful about her being attacked by this man with
young woman, stunning actually, yet she a brick.
is homeless and very vulnerable to the She was convinced he meant to have his
wickedness that is on the streets. Last way with her, and then perhaps, kill her. She
summer, this evil almost cost her her life. said that as he was hitting her on the back of
A predator, who now is in jail and should the head, a calm came over her, and she was
remain there, tried to rape and beat her, bold. She said to this evil man. “Hey, I will
perhaps to death, with a brick! I had met not scream. Let’s smoke a cigarette!”
this young lady just a few weeks ago, and she And then they did, and he suddenly had
appeared to me as one of my daughters or a change of plans. He was not so willing to
granddaughters. continue. He talked for over an hour, and
I immediately liked her. She approached told his life story. She said, “I have to go to
me about my former addiction to pain the bathroom.” He did not want to let her
pills. She told me that she was on a massive go, but he needed to get high. So he told her,
amount of morphine for a spinal disease. “I will go buy some dope. I will return and
She wanted to know how I got off the pills. we can get high.” She pretended to agree;
We talked, and then I did not seen her for and when he left, she called the police. They
some days. I had a foreboding in my spirit! found him asleep in her friend’s tent.
It seems the Lord has given me a sense about Ladies, this woman will tell you this,
these things. I thought she was in danger, so BE AWARE! BE AWAKE! AND ALWAYS
I began to really pray for her. Then four days BE PREPARED! THESE CAN BE VERY
later, she began to tell me this horror story MEAN STREETS, LADIES!

Page 21

[TRANSPORTATION]
LOST AND FOUND

By Sally Smeltzer in Traverse City, MI

One day, I lost my Volkswagen Jetta Wagon.
It wasn’t that I lost it, it was gone from the
road forever.
2001, 300,000 miles, tarp-covered
windows and missing exhaust. The beautiful
green Jetta that had taken me everywhere
and, at the same time, nowhere, was now
never to be driven again. I remember like
it was yesterday the reality that came along
with this loss.
I was, at the time, in the midst of my
divorce, separated for some time. My
children were with their dad forty miles
away, and my current job was 20 minutes in
the opposite direction of where I was couch
surfing in Traverse City. At this time, I was
dating someone who didn’t and couldn’t
work. I was already losing the battle over
custody due to my living situation, often
living in my car.
This tragic loss caused a domino effect
in my life. The bus wouldn’t work with my
schedule and vice versa with my work. I
soon lost my job. Because of my loss of
employment, this was the last straw in my
battle for my girls. I was thrown into deep
depression and alcoholism. This spiraled
into my running away…thinking I could hide
from reality! One day, I lost my Volkswagen
Jetta; and four years later, I found my Buick
LaSabre.

Page 22

[TRUTHSAYING]
SHELTER SHOCK

By Mark Gansert in Miami, FL

Almost all those you encounter living on the Trapped in a world of the homeless
streets have attempted the homeless shelter and the endless ocean of personal tragedy,
route, including myself. It is a different each individual represents the quenched
world of homelessness altogether. glimmer of hope. It’s usually replaced with
The shelter life is, as unbelievable a hardness which shelters their open hearts
as it may seem, entirely more stressful from the reality of society.
than actually sleeping on the streets. The Yet, I have met a precious few, the most
endless rules and regulations, unrealistic, idealistic of us all, whose genuine love for
occasionally sadistic staff members, and, of mankind cannot be turned by a sea of
course, the fact you are literally stacked on adversity. Usually those who find themselves
top of one another makes for a particularly in a shelter, who are there by sheer bad luck,
undesirable experience. gravitate to these people. Unfortunately, I
You are expected to find gainful have found these individuals do not have
employment within an unusually short time the power to alleviate the problems of the
frame so that you may relieve yourself of many into a solution for the few.
the shelter’s services. It usually winds up as Amidst the jaded, the precious, and the
being a gateway into a homeless revolving simply aghast, a homeless person is faced
shelter door. with an almost insurmountable problem of
Most of the time, just putting the shelter’s bootstrapping themselves to the mainstream
address on your application will exclude you of society from a metal bunk bed or a plastic
from a job. mat on the floor in a room of people who are
My personal favorite topic of discussion in the same situation.
brought up in most homeless shelters is I have seen the fear in the eyes of those
this: They’re making money from us being who are homeless for the first time–even
in here. This usually irritates me and forces military veterans who have seen the horrors
me to attempt to explain (to the idiot who of war. The color drained from their faces,
brings up the topic) that no one makes the shock of realization as they lay down on
money from your homelessness. The idea their bedding in the shelter for the night.
of a for-profit homeless shelter is ridiculous. That first night is unsettling to watch
Someone either donated money or the from afar. For all but the unfeeling, it
government grants money for the shelter resonates throughout the experience.
to operate. Usually, it’s a slathering of both, Whether it is the man who brought it on
neither of which lends itself to raking in the himself through a series of bad decisions
cash. However, trying to explain this to the or those who are victims of unfortunate
idiot is akin to teaching a pig to fly. It makes circumstances beyond their control, the
you look stupid and irritates the pig. evocation is the same.
I ponder the nature of the men and
women who operate homeless shelters.
I have personally met quite a few in my
tramp’s journey. All of them seem to have an
intention of helping the downtrodden. Yet,
in short order, the overwhelming problem
consumes the best of intentions.
Somewhere between the mentally ill,
drug addicts, and the basically lazy, they
find themselves jaded to the illusion of
philanthropy.

Page 23

[GIVING] [OPPORTUNITY]
Many thanks to Speak Up’s sponsors & donors.

TRANSFORMED THE COMMUNITY
CHANGED PERCEPTIONS
GAVE A VOICE

www.iciprocess.com

PROMOTED OPPORTUNITY

watershedtc.org bponline.org clgonline.org

STARTED A CONVERSATION

BRITTON
BANNERS

Page 24

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support for jobs and opportunity in the community. All gifts are tax-deductible.

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“Speak Up gave me a chance to
create my own future.”

—said by a once-homeless former magazine vendor
who now owns his own moving company