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Matt Shaw
Editor In ChiefSpeak Up is a Maria Valdivieso
Art Director

Photographer
Peggi Knowevoice for the
Editorial Team
Peggi Knowe, Myeka Johnson,
Nate Casey, Alisha Pruett, Lana Shaw voiceless. Speak Up Magazine
501 Hawthorne Ln,
Charlotte, NC 28204
Ph: 704-980-9885

For additional information about the
The magazine is sold by production of this magazine, including
design notes, printing details, photo
vulnerably-housed street andat speakupmag.org/issuesillustrations credits, visit us online
vendors who become micro- We’d love to hear your feedback:
magazine@speakupmag.org
business owners, develop Speak Up Magazine is a 501(c)3
a passion for inspired non-profitnations of readersand is supportedsuch as yourself.by do-
Donate at speakupmag.org.
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back on their feet financially. Get Speak Up in your mailbox every month. speakupmag.org/subscribe

BULK SUBSCRIPTION
Order 10 or more copies for your
church, business or group. (A street
vendor gets paid for each copy you
receive.) speakupmag.org/bulk
SW Street Writer = Has experienced homelessness

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OUR
OPPORTUNITY
By Matt Shaw

Page 5

The people who come to Speak Up are publishing stories from the streets. He said:
usually desperate for second chances. Their “You don’t really want to give the mob a
circumstances, stories, and lives vary and voice—they are the unwashed masses, the
cannot be stereotyped, but their need for dirty rabble. They are low-minded, and self-
restoration is always great. serving; they’d stab you for a dime.” He went
on, “I’m just trying to stay alive out there;
A second chance came abruptly for Doug man, it’s Darwinian survival. They are animals.
and Abby. They came into Charlotte a couple These people don’t deserve to be heard
weeks ago, penniless and afraid. “I’ve never from.” It was a heavy, intense, hot-breathed
been homeless before,” Abby said. They exhortation—unusual to be urged by a
slept on newspapers in the woods their first resident of the streets to mute the voices of
nights—all their possessions fit into a large the streets. Agree with him or not, he had my
purse. Hearing about the magazine selling full attention.
opportunity, they came for an interview at
Speak Up and stayed around for the Writing Admittedly, it is an upside-down proposition:
Workshop and some hot coffee. A few days giving a public voice and financial
later, they were back for their micro-business empowerment to people who’ve been
training, which covers “Thinking like a written off by society and disowned by their
Business, not a Beggar,” best practices, Speak families. But we must. So many of the people
Up’s Code of Conduct, a sales role playing, struggling on the streets are entrapped by a
and couple dozen free magazines. That first nearly impenetrable wall of guilt and shame,
afternoon and evening selling magazines, they carrying a sentence of failure that is reinforced
earned $134 combined and stayed in a hotel. everywhere they turn. Speak Up and its
They’ve been off the streets ever since. foolishly-hopeful approach provides a tool that
illustrates the possibility of a different future.
Another friend, Tamela, is further along in her My friend Brian sings about “the facts wrapped
journey. She regularly sold Speak Up Magazine in a lie”—a reminder that one’s shortcomings
in Charlotte from 2013 to 2015. During that and misfires needn’t define one’s identity and
time, things got better and better for her, future. So, with respect to my homeless friend
and she was eventually able to move across above, we will—we have to—keep on giving
country to reconnect with family. In May, she a voice to our friends on the streets, and
emailed: “I’m living in Houston, Texas. I’m believing that beggars can become business
attending college, working on making my owners, that losers can become winners, the
dreams reality. Thank you for helping me find lost can be found, and that the dead can come
the courage, strength, confidence and faith to back to life.
be a better person.”

With all these positive events happening, an
earnest conversation with a local chronically-
homeless man caught me very much by
surprise as he urged Speak Up to stop

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SECOND TIME’S

By Alisha PruettTHE CHARM

I was one of those psych majors thinking I
could save the world just because I had earned
a DSM certificate. I discovered quickly after
getting my first job in homeless services as an
outreach specialist that most of the classroom
jargon was junk. I say this because human
interaction comes from your roots—how
you were raised. It’s something that can’t be
explained in a textbook when it comes to
confronting human struggle or crisis. You have
to become empathetic and find connections
rather than coming off as a person in a lab
coat with a clipboard. There’s no time for
over-evaluating when it comes to genuinely
connecting with another human being.

As an outreach specialist, I was able to connect
to homeless individuals specifically within the
transit system for all five boroughs of New
York City. From day one, I became schooled
in a totally different way from academia. No
one wanted help from the overly excited,
seemingly privileged and scripted young
woman that I was. I would gallantly approach
someone lying on the subway floor, oftentimes
with their one bag of belongings by saying,”

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Hi! Do you need help today? We can take of this, she would say a few swear words at me
you to an emergency shelter right now!” Even and I would leave her be. One day, I got out of
writing this makes me cringe. I had no idea the van and just sat next to her. She was really
what I was doing; and although it was with upset by this as she just thought I wanted to
good intentions, it had little to do with really ask the same old questions and move on if she
understanding another human or my role in didn’t want to answer. This time, I just sat there
their world. Did I really know what it was like until she was done yelling. Then, I said, “I do
to stay in these shelters? Did I know what it not want to offer you help, but I do want to
meant for them to go through the system? I know who you are.” I tried this most mornings
had to break down some personal barriers and for one year. Then, like a miracle, one day
conceptualize the idea that some people don’t she exclaimed, “Miss Alisha, (I didn’t know
like me or anyone invading their “home” or she knew my name) is there a place I can stay
lives. More importantly, I had to understand and do my art?” I was floored. Within one
the idea that some people are really reluctant week, this woman found a home and was also
to accept help due to so many unknown connected to an art therapy studio in which
variables. later they put up her art within their ongoing
gallery.
Building rapport was a common theme
within various trainings regarding engaging In the end, we all get chances. I got the
homeless individuals. However, there is no chance to not know what I was doing for
definitive mold for this as everyone moves at a while. Most importantly, I got a second
their own pace in divulging their life story or chance to learn. Throughout my career as a
making steps to a brighter (or darker) place. homeless service provider, I have found that
As a housing provider, it was hard for me to once homeless individuals choose the path
understand someone not accepting housing or for housing, they get a second chance on
watching someone relapse. It finally dawned life. This renewed lease on life, whether it be
on me that I was conducting my job with the today or a year from now, allows for building
embedded knowledge that it was “me vs. relationships, stability, and growth. I am
them.” honored to be a part of the journey.

I have a specific memory of a woman who
always slept in the midtown part of Manhattan
and would spend her days on the lower East
Side. I knew her hangouts, where she slept,
her ups and downs. Every time our homeless
outreach van would pull up and document all

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struggling to survive on the streets. My sole
friend lives a thousand miles away. A man sits on a black

I dwell precariously in an arrangement that office chair with
I recently discovered was illegal. Namely,
ten men in a two-bedroom apartment. It is his black steel-toed
truly awful. It is akin to a cockroach-infested
homeless shelter which I have the displeasure boots on the edge of
of paying rent to a man making nearly twenty
thousand a month over the whole building. a desk in a portable
It is an inequitable arrangement rife with a
peculiar taint of greed under the guise of building in the garage
basement of a hotel altruism.
I recently purchased a motorcycle, a Triumph
America, for a mere two hundred and fifty along the beach.
dollars. Granted, it needs work. However, it is
It is one o’clock in the morning and all is vital to escaping the poor living conditions.
quiet. The only sound is the grossly oversized
window unit air conditioner wedged into an My life is slowly becoming tolerable. Yet a fear
opening roughly cut haphazardly into the side of the streets dwells in the back of my mind. It
of the office wall. Its drone is more than a little sits again, as I have noted in the past, mocking
annoying. me. As if the stain of sleeping on concrete
was some scarlet letter. Even being gainfully
The man with his feet on the desk works at the employed and making small yet vital steps
hotel overnight full-time as its sole engineer seems futile. I can oddly see the reasoning of
for that shift. The hours are steady, the room those hardcore, lifelong homeless men who
calls are infrequent and typically of no real have given up on our society and watch from
importance. the fringe. Unanswered questions—What am
I doing? Where am I going?—loom in the
The man with his feet on the desk is me. To distance of my mind. My job and housing
be honest, I’ve not lately written anything stability do not provide any answers.
other than write incident reports for incidents
I didn’t create, yet solved. My life is lonely. My I wait for redemption.
days are solitary. Nearly as much as when I was

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By Mark Gansert SW REDEMPTION

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LOOKING FOR
AN OPEN
DOOR
By Vince Shumate SW

I recently became homeless again. I’m in
Goldsboro, FL. I’ve been on the streets since
Wednesday and to be perfectly honest I’m
in good shape about life. My appetite has
returned and I’m getting more than 5 or 6
hours of sleep each night.

The circumstances of why I became homeless deep within me that is an option I do not have
again are confusing without a long detailed if I wish to remain among the living. That is
background story. I had to leave the recovery about the only option I don’t have. Everything
house because I was unable to pay rent. That’s is possible except that. I still have my camera
the bottom line. I left on good terms. My and computer and now also have a decent
departure wasn’t because I had gone back bicycle. Those are the three material things I’d
to drinking or anything of that sort. I’ve been least want to part with.
volunteering at Habitat for Humanity’s Re-
Store for about a year and fortunately they are I’m at that homeless “Catch 22” stage where
going to let me keep some of my things here I can’t get and keep a job without stable
until I decide on a location to go and finding living conditions and I can’t get stable living
transportation there. conditions without having a job. After living
homeless and drunk for about 17 years
I’m sleeping in a copse of trees 4 blocks previously, I’m comfortable living with less. All
from the center of town. Of course it’s very I need is a job and a roof. I’d even consider
temporary and I’d like to find SOME place working for room and board. I’ll keep climbing
more stable and permanent as soon as up the ladder from there. I just need help
possible. Sleeping under the sky is not very reaching that first rung.
comfortable when it starts pouring the rain.
I’ve been very fortunate with dry weather so far Right now I’m checking doors. I’m just trying
and have no idea right now what I’m going to to determine which doors are closed and
do when it does start raining. which doors possibly open. When I find a
door (opportunity) that won’t open it’s good
I have over 18 months sober now and I don’t because I can focus my attention on other
even think about drinking anymore. I know doors.

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By Myeka JohnsonTALKING WITH TAZ

attitude. I wouldn’t listen to anyone. One
of the things that I regret not doing is not
listening to those older than I.

What opportunities did you miss as a
youngster?
I was really good in sports, mainly football
and track. I was a 14-gold medalist at a
young age. I received a scholarship to
college. I’d become too distracted and
turned it down. I also had many other
talents. One of my main talents was playing
the violin.

Anything positive from homelessness?
…I know that my situation isn’t permanent.
Why are you homeless? I tell everyone this, no matter if they are
I made poor decisions early in life, and I homeless or not. Each situation we face
became really distracted by things that makes us better. Homelessness taught
were not good for me at the time. One me to appreciate what I have. I use to be
main distraction was females. I had a child one of those people who looked down on
at a young age and lost custody of that homeless people because I thought they
child for six years. I didn’t know how to were lazy, but the truth of the matter is they
handle it, so I began drinking. It wasn’t until were just having a hard time in life. Now, I
age twenty-five when I decided to grow up. am one of them.

Does your childhood play a part in your What has homelessness taught you
homelessness? about life?
When I was a child, my mom died from I believe that people have the wrong idea
drugs. To this day, I am grateful for my about life. They depend too much on what
grandmother who stepped in to raise me. they see on the Internet and social media.
She wasn’t the perfect parent, but she did You don’t have to be everywhere with
her best. I cannot say that I had the best everyone to enjoy life. Being homeless
relationship with my mom, but it was better teaches you a lot about how to be alone.
than having no relationship with my dad.
Read the full interview at speakupmag.org/blog.
How did those distractions affect you?
I had that “my-way-or-the-highway”

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I’M NOT BITTER, I’M BETTER

By Ava Roseboro SW

I was born in Atlantic City, NJ, in 1965. I spent In 1982, I had my first taste of cocaine. I
most of my summers on the beaches and the started out sniffing. Shortly after, I began to
boardwalk watching all the tourists gather, smoke it in my marijuana. After awhile, I felt
from all around the world, to spend their like I just couldn’t get high enough. I was
vacation at the world’s biggest playground. I then introduced to crack cocaine, and my
was molested at the age of eight up until I was life quickly became out of control. My only
12 years old when I began to make the streets concern was where and when I could get my
my home. next hit. I had to think of ways to get money,
and get money fast. I tried to convince myself
As early as 11 years of age, I remember my that I was making a fair exchange because
mother having parties and gambling sessions I was not actually standing on a corner, so I
in our home. I was exposed to a lot at a young didn’t consider it prostitution, but it was. I was
age. We were poor and grew up on a rough using my body to pay for my habit.
side of town known as “Back Maryland.” My
addiction started the first time I had a taste of In the summer of 1984, I went to Philadelphia,
alcohol at 11 years old. The first time I smoked with some people I met on the boardwalk in
marijuana, I was 12 years old. I started smoking Atlantic City, to a house party. The drugs and
cigarettes when I was 13 years old. alcohol were flowing freely. I over-indulged

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and experienced my first blackout. I knew it
was the grace of God that led me back to NJ only women’s prison in NJ. Prison life was
safely. However, I still did not stop using drugs. worse than the streets, but since I had to
be there, I made the most of it by applying
The day I overdosed was so clear to me. It was myself to the many free programs they had to
a cold and rainy night in October 1985. I had offer: NA, AA, behavior modification, anger
no money, no job, and no place to call home. management classes, one-on-one counseling,
So I did what I knew best—hustled until I could GED. I even signed up for the Scared Straight
raise the funds needed to get high. It was a program to warn young girls about the
horrible cycle of drugs and despair. I found dangers of a life of crime and prison.
myself in a part of Atlantic City known as the
Inlet. I hooked up with a couple of guys and It wasn’t until the Amer-I-Can program founder
experienced my first love for pills. and CEO, Jim Brown (former NFL Hall of Fame
and actor), came to the prison that I began to
I thought for sure that barbiturates and Valium see the hand of God upon my life. I got saved
could erase all the pain from my past—the on November 1, 1993. It was the best decision
constant voices in my head, the abandonment God allowed me to make. Four years after I
issues, the abuse, the loneliness I often felt, gave my life to Christ, I was raped and forced
and worst of all, the emptiness. I didn’t know to have an abortion behind bars.
then, but I know now, that I had a void that
only God could fill. After a night of drinking, Since then, I have learned the power of
drugging, not eating or sleeping, it finally took forgiveness. Just as Christ my Savior has
a toll on my body. I had overdosed. When I forgiven me, I had to forgive others. Not an
came to myself, I was laying in Atlantic City easy task but possible when the love of God is
Medical Center with tubes in all my veins and rooted deep in my heart. To sum it up, I have
feeling the echo of death. I had no hope and been molested, addicted, battled substance
no real sense of who I was or what my purpose abuse, overdosed, placed in a psychiatric
was in life. hospital, abused by ex-boyfriends, abandoned
by loved ones, lost my children to the state,
After my stay in the medical center, I was been homeless and in prison. I can truly say
taken to Acorn Psychiatric Hospital. Until this that I’m not bitter. I’m better. To God be all the
day, I still don’t know how I got there or how glory. He has allowed me to be an over-comer.
long I stayed. When I was released, I went My past is not my potential.
back home to the same life of depression,
hopelessness and despair, so the cycle My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades.
continued. Praise be to God who always causes me to
triumph.
On May 7, 1989, I was sentenced to 30 years
to life for murder. I took the plea and ended
up with the lesser charge of involuntary
manslaughter. I was sent to Edna Mahan, the

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Put it into action.

Which Brew Are You?

Decaf / Slactivist / As long as it’s quick & simple, you’re
up for baby-stepping into social activism.

Regular / Activist / Up for a little adventure, have the
‘want to’, but need help on the how.

Espresso / Superhero / All in. Looking for front line
action or ongoing involvement that do the most good.

DECAF / SHELTER A HOMELESS FAMILY OF THREE FOR $17.
Buy a tent from academysports.com. Have it shipped to 24-7 Prayer Room here: 1615 E.5th
St. #3. Charlotte, NC 28204. Think of it as providing temporary tiny houses for the homeless
when local shelters are at full capacity.

REGULAR / A CHILD’S PLACE URGENTLY NEEDS A LOT OF STUFF.
When you make your next trip to the store, pick up some items from the list and drop them
off at A Child’s Place, which serves vulnerably housed kids: 601 E.5th St. Suite 230, Charlotte
NC 28202. / Basic school supplies, kid’s socks and undergarments, long-sleeved polo shirts
(white, navy, red, black for girls/boys, sizes 4-16), toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant,
shampoo/conditioner, body wash, lotion, chap stick, and feminine hygiene supplies.

ESPRESSO / SERVE AT THE MEN’S SHELTER OF CHARLOTTE.
Individuals: Volunteer to assist homeless or vulnerably-housed clients in searching for
employment and housing via the Internet. Assist clients in obtaining foundation documents
(i.e. birth certificate, ID card, Social Security card, or credit report). Volunteer opportunities
are from 9am – 10pm (2-6 hour increments). / Groups: Assist in preparing and serving meals.
Groups of 7-12 volunteers are needed for each meal served. The Men’s Shelter of Charlotte
serves three meals every day of the week. www.mensshelterofcharlotte.org

—Lisa Koons | 24-7 Prayer USA

This page is brought to you by 24-7, a catalyst for movements of prayer, mission & justice.
Learn more at charlotte24-7.com.

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sells Speak Up Magazine
to give a voice to the voiceless
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