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$5.00 / Issue 72

MY BETTER
THOUGHTS

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My name is Angel Williams.

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This is about my mental state.

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My former life was one of difficulty
and hardships.

It pains me to even think about my past.

At the same time, I use those former endeavors as tools
to motivate me to stay on the right path.

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When I was a nomad on the streets, I
was in a horrible mental state.

I could not seem to get my thought life organized.
When I could, my better thoughts consisted of
lowliness.

I thought of panhandling (which I did)…so I could
get money to purchase drugs and alcohol.

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I thought it was sufficient to sleep
under bridges, on sidewalks, or any
other concrete surface.

I had grown numb to the reality in which I participated.

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My best days in this place of mental poverty consisted
of warm nights in the men’s shelter. Little did I know
that these so-called “best days” were actually my worst
days, but my mental poverty had me believing that I
was all right in such a stage.

The people that I hung with were also suffering from
mental poverty, and they could not advise me to do
better because, just like me, their worst days were
equivalent to their best days.

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It was the reality of poverty upon
poverty.

My personality was non-existent. I found laughter to
be one of the most challenging activities to participate
in. Smiling was just as difficult. I possessed an aura
that was extremely unpleasant, and I was losing
myself more and more to a nomadic life. The reward
of such a life was incarceration. Paradoxically, the
incarceration served as a great blessing in disguise
because it helped me regain my mental clarity.

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With my growing mental clarity, I
had the ability to envision countless
forms of prosperity.

If one can envision a thing, they can also achieve it.
And this fact brings me to my present stage in life.

When I was incarcerated, I began to search myself. I
found a lot of positive attributes, but they were being
choked out and annihilated by the negative attributes
I had accumulated during my street life. I realized
that I had to cleanse myself mentally and spiritually.
I did…and that process led me to become settled in
my life.

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Now I understand the significance of
an organized thought life.

Today my better thoughts consist of the harvest of
my actions which lead me to pursue life cautiously.
I no longer think it sufficient to sleep under bridges,
on sidewalks, or any other concrete surface. I am
no longer numb to the reality in which I formerly
participated.

My best days are no longer in that place of mental
poverty in which I used to dwell.

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Today I associate with people who
are mentally and spiritually rich, and
they serve as my instructors as well
as my beacons of hope.

My personality is presently more pleasant, but I still
have room for growth in this area. Laughter is no
longer a challenge; it is becoming second nature to
me. Smiling has become a regular facial gesture for
me, and my aura is more inviting.

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I am rediscovering myself as each
day passes.

The reward of this way of life is more promising than
the reward of a nomadic life. Still, I rest thankfully
for all of my former hardships because those perilous
times have given me great insights and more wisdom.
I also understand that those perilous times have
equipped me to help someone else who may be
stuck in my former lifestyle. I truly believe that those
experiences will serve as a foundation that I will need
in order to be an effective force in other hopeless
people’s lives.

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In the end of it all, I can see the benefit
of my hardships.

I am now equipped to be that person who helps
others regain their hope as well as their confidence.
Without the pain of my former life, I would not be
equipped to serve others in such a way.

My name is Angel Williams.

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SPEAK UP MAGAZINE

Speak Up equips remarkable people facing homelessness with a
magazine that releases their voice and give them a chance to work
and earn money. As they buy and sell Speak Up magazines (and
keep the profits), they discover dignity, develop skills, accomplish
goals, and get off the streets.

Speak Up is a 501(c)3 nonprofit, powered by your generosity.

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ARE YOU FACING HOMELESSNESS?

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