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$5.00
#87

I WAS IN PRISON MENTALLY
LONG BEFORE I WAS IN PRISON
PHYSICALLY.

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THIS ISSUE WAS PRODUCED
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH
CHANGED CHOICES

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Changed Choices is a 501(c)3 nonprofit that provides
mental, emotional, physical and spiritual assistance to
highly motivated women both during their incarcera­
tion and as they transition back into society, enabling
them to make positive changes in their lives and to
achieve self-sufficiency.

LEARN, VOLUNTEER AND DONATE:
CHANGEDCHOICES.ORG

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IT’S NOT OVER
UNTIL GOD SAYS
IT’S OVER

By Dravia Price

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My name is Dravia. My grandfather called me “Gravy.” I am
from Charlotte, NC, born in 1969. I didn’t grow up in church and
for a long time, I didn’t know there was a God.

What I grew up in was a family that suffered from Addictions.
Drugs and alcohol were very present in our home and so was
abuse. I have experienced abuse on different levels (physical­
ly, sexually, emotionally). It was nothing for me to hear “you’re
ugly, stupid, worthless, never gonna amount to anything,” and as
a child, I absorbed this like a sponge. I grew up believing all of
these things about myself.

We were often without food, lights, water, and so I was dirty. I
didn’t have the best clothes, the best shoes, and so I hated school.
I hated it because I didn’t fit in. I was often picked on and bullied
because I didn’t look or dress like everyone else. I was tardy from

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school and many times I wouldn’t show up at all. I would hang
out in the neighborhood with my friends. They called us misfits
and outcasts, but we were just kids that were broken, and just
wanted to be loved and accepted.

In the 7th grade I was called an at-risk youth and was put in an
alternative program. A program that said, “If I did not change my
direction I would wind up dead or in prison,” but I did not know
how to change. I didn’t have the tools. An ancient Chinese prov­
erb says, “If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end
up where we are headed”, and I was headed to destruction.

In the 9th grade I quit school altogether. I was initiated into
a gang, started wilding out, doing everything I’m big and bad
enough to do. I didn’t care about life, I didn’t care where I was
going in life, I didn’t care if I lived or died. What I was looking for

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was a family, but all I found in the gang were lies, deception and
another form of abuse.

At home things were explosive and so I decided to leave; I became
a runaway. I didn’t love myself, didn’t believe in myself, so it was
nothing for me to sleep in abandoned buildings, cars, woods, un­
der bridges, or wherever I could lay my head. The clothes I had
on were all that I owned and sometimes I would have shoes on my
feet. I did things no little girl should have to do to survive, but in
my mind, it was better than being at home.

So I lived in the streets for about 4 years before I finally went back
home. I was almost 18 years old. Once I got home, nothing had
changed but the address, or some furniture. Abuse, drugs, and
alcohol were still the normal, and so once again I decided to leave.
I didn’t fit in at home.

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Eventually I found a boyfriend and moved in with him, and ev­
erything was good in our relationship for about a year, and then
he became abusive. I didn’t have any friends, couldn’t wear what
I wanted to wear, or do what I wanted to do. I felt locked up! I
was in prison mentally long before I ever was in prison physically.
I allowed myself to be in abusive relationships because I didn’t
think I deserved anyone to treat me good. I allowed myself to be
devalued because I didn’t think I was worthy of having anyone to
love me.

So I ended up in prison physically and it took a while, but I got
my G.E.D. I went on to get my Associates in Business Manage­
ment because someone said they believed in me. I went on to get
my Bachelors in Sociology because I finally started believing in
myself. I’ve taken many classes, self-help classes, personal growth
classes—practically “everything” prison has to offer. I’ve had time

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to do it, lots of time, because in 1991 I was sentenced to life in
prison with the possibility of parole, for one decision that would
forever change my life. I have been incarcerated longer that I’ve
been in society. I grew up in prison. With all the abuse I suffered
and all the abuse I hated…I became that person. I was convicted
of murder.

I make no excuses for what I’ve done. I can say I didn’t know any
better, I come from a messed up home, a dysfunctional family. I
can say I didn’t know I needed help, didn’t know how to get help,
and all these things are true, but when you take no thought and
no regard to the person that you hurt, doing everything you’re big
and bad enough to do…you will pay the price.

John 3:16 says, “For God so love the world that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish

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but have eternal life.” Jesus paid the ultimate price for me. I gave
my life to him in 2005, and in prison you will find a lot of peo­
ple “find” God. They call it jailhouse religion, but when you find
yourself in a situation you can’t get out of, or a pit so deep that
only the hand of God can pull you out, you will fall on your knees.
You will call on your help. My faith is where I draw my strength.
It is where I have learned I am beautiful, I am worthy of having
someone to love me, I am more than enough.

So, I don’t know when I’m going to get out, but in the event that
I do, many of my loved ones won’t be there. I lost my grandfather,
grandmother, 2 uncles, 2 aunts, my nephew and my dad. I will
never get that back, but I’ve learned many lessons: Life is short,
tomorrow is not promised. I’ve learned value in friendships, and
relationships, that choices we make affect everyone that we love.
It’s so important to choose wisely.

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Most of all, I’ve learned that what happened to me does not de­
fine me. I can’t make a brand new start, but I can start now, and
make a brand new end. I am alive today because of God’s grace,
but I would not have known this grace if it had not been for peo­
ple who prayed for me, in spite of me, who did not give up, who
saw something in me that I could not see, a people who would not
let me die!

Today, I know there is a God, and I believe I have a future and a
hope. I trust His plan. I trust Him with my life!

It’s not over until God says it’s over!

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SPEAK UP — A VOICE & INCOME

Speak Up equips people facing homelessness with a magazine that releases
their voice and gives them a chance to work. As they buy and sell Speak Up
magazines, they discover dignity, new skills, and a pathway off the streets.

Speak Up is a 501(c)3 nonprofit. Your support is vital.

HOMELESS? TRANSFORM YOUR STORY NOW.

If you are facing homelessness, you can write for Speak Up and sell the mag­
zine. Your first 20 copies of the magazine are free. You’ll sell them for $5 per
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and you always keep the money from your sales.

This starts a cycle of self-elevation and financial opportunity that has no limits.
Through diligent work, you can quickly get and stay off the streets.

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501 Hawthorne Lane
Charlotte, NC 28204

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