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ANGER
PAIN
PROTEST
PRAYER
HOPE
LOOTING
CHANGE
IN CHARLOTTE

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this special issue is in
response to the police
shooting and ensuing
protests that rocked
charlotte in late
september 2016.

it is written by people who were there. These gut-level

responses are real and honest and evolving.

This issue of the magazine isn’t static; over the next week,

it will expand with additional stories and impressions.

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Speak Up is a voice
for voiceless…

…for the homeless, MattEditorShawIn Chief
trafficked, Maria Valdivieso
impoverished, Art Director
orphaned, PhotographerPeggi Knowe
oppressed, Editorial Team
bullied PeggiNate Casey,Knowe,AlishaMyekaPruett,Johnson,Lana Shaw
and invisible. Speak Up Magazine
501 Hawthorne Ln,
Charlotte, NC 28204
May these stories refresh Ph: 704-980-9885
your hope, awaken your Forproductionadditionalof thisinformationmagazine,aboutincludingthe
heart and inspire new designand illustrationsnotes, printingcredits,details,visit usphotoonline
engagement. at speakupmag.org/outsiders
We’d love to hear your feedback:
magazine@speakupmag.org

The magazine is sold by vulnerably- Speak Up Magazine is a 501(c)3 non-profit and is supported by do-
housed street vendors who become nations of readers such as yourself.
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facebook.com/shutteranthem

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A STREET-LEVEL VIEW

Edward Smalls sells Speak Up magazine— They said the man who got killed, his wife
which provides a voice and income for people asked for the protests to be peaceful—but the
on the streets—every weekday in uptown way I saw it, they weren’t peaceful. That’s what
Charlotte. This puts him in close proximity I saw anyway.
to the epicenter of the heated protests that
exploded in the aftermath of the police I’ve heard some talk about their anger and
shooting of Keith Scott. The morning after frustration as being about more than just
the nighttime violence that left one protester one guy being killed, it’s about a whole
dead, Edward talked with Speak Up editor lifetime of being discriminated against, of
Matt Shaw about the protests, gun violence, a sense of being harassed. Does that make
and his own story. sense to you?

What happened last night? I really don’t know what it is. A lot of the
people getting killed, these young kids, are so
It was just terrible uptown. I was sitting in unpredictable. They will do all kind of things.
the park by the library, reading a book, and You don’t know what is going to happen to
someone came running by and said that you, you just got to be alert and pay attention
someone got shot. So I went to investigate and sometimes mistakes happen. That’s all I
what was going on because I didn’t even can say.
know that people were protesting. When I
got uptown I ran up on the light rail and was You have spent a number of nights on the
looking down on Trade street and I saw people streets—
hollering at the police and throwing things and
screaming and all of the sudden I got a whiff Many nights.
of that tear gas and I just up and left. It got in
my eyes and nostrils and everything—I just got —Over the last years couple, were there
away from that. There was just too much going times you ever felt as if your safety was at
on for me. risk?

Do you know why people were protesting? Just last night when there was all this violence
was going on. People running all over the
They said police killed a guy in the apartments, place. There was hardly a place to rest. So
someplace up around Mallard Creek, I’m much noise, young kids running around,
pretty sure. They said they had the film of it, throwing objects and all kinds of things.
but no one released the film or anything like
that, so I guess that people were protesting. So the place where this violence and these

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protests were happening, how far away is Starbucks to get their coffee. They say, ‘Good
that from where you sell magazines? morning, Mr. Smalls, how are you doing?’
And I say, “Good morning, officer, have a
Oh, it was about six blocks from where I sell nice day.” It goes on every day. I’d say it is a
the magazine. I’m on 5th and Tryon and those positive relationship because we speak every
protests were at Trade and Tryon and by the morning—there’s nothing negative about it.
Transit center. It didn’t happen when I was
working there. I was working in the daytime. Some of the anger out there comes from
People were just protesting peacefully until some people feeling as though they don’t
about 9:00 that night—after 9:00 things have economic opportunities. Your story
started getting violent. Mainly it was just the is complex—for nearly four decades you
younger kids doing all that ridiculous stuff. worked a full time job, then–as you said–
It wasn’t the older folks doing it. It was the you “did something stupid,” and you landed
younger kids. I don’t know what you can do in prison. When you got out, your work
about young kids today—they are violent, I opportunities were very limited.
guess.
That’s the way the law is set up. You’ve got to
You sell magazines in one of the busiest follow the rules and go by the law. You have
places in town. You see a lot of people and to just keep trying to progress—keep picking
a lot of police officers every day. What’s away, keep picking away until you get back to
your relationship to the police? the situation where you want to be. It’s not like
someone’s against you. That’s the rule of the
They speak to me every morning when they land, and you’ve got to follow it. I didn’t follow
go the Showmars to get their coffee, to it, so now I’ve got to suffer the consequences

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of that. I’m not angry or anything. I just keep cowboys and sheriffs and they are always
on trying to make it in life, that’s all. I keep carrying guns. Everyone’s got a gun. So
trying to better myself, that’s all I can do. much of the tension today seems to be
around guns. Some people wanting to
It must have been difficult over and over assert their right to carry guns—publicly
trying to get a job but being rejected or privately. Others saying you shouldn’t
because of your criminal record. What was carry guns. Legal guns. Illegal guns. People
that like? getting shot—sometimes waving guns,
sometimes unarmed. What do you think
It was disappointing. It was hard. But I just about guns?
kept on trying and kept on trying. After awhile Guns are a serious thing. You have to use
I started with Speak Up and that puts money your judgement. If someone’s breaking in
in my pocket every day. I keep picking at your house, it is probably good to have one
things—trying to get a job. on hand. You can’t just get mad at somebody
and shoot someone — you’ve got to use
What would you say to a young man with your head. A gun is a dangerous tool. I think
a criminal record who looks around the anyone who wants one should have one, but
culture and hears and sees the message they should use their head. Getting mad at
that “getting a job and working hard is the someone and killing—that’s not the way.
way to get ahead in life” but because of his
history, he doesn’t have that opportunity— Have you ever owned a gun?
people aren’t going to give him a job. What
do you say to him? When I was north of Charleston, in South
Carolina, I owned a lot of guns. But since I
I’d say don’t give up. Keep trying. Keep came to Charlotte, no, I’ve never owned a
trying. Do the best you can. That’s all you gun. Since I have a federal offense, I’m not
can do. If you are real young, you can always allowed to own a gun. It doesn’t bother me
start over. Take some sort of trade. There are one bit. I don’t need one. I’m not planning on
organizations that take people with criminal shooting anybody. Even if I had to protect my
backgrounds and put them with different own life, all I could do is just fight until I die.
companies. If you really try and look into I don’t want to kill anyone. I know the feeling
things, there is a way to get through the of somebody losing somebody, having lost
system. You just have to keep trying. Don’t someone myself.
lose faith. Keep on pounding.
You lost your son.
You and I both love Western novels—
Yes. That was by gun violence.
[laughs] Oh yeah, I’m always reading Western
novels. Always. How old was he?

As you know, in the Westerns there are He was 36.

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How long ago? been the wrong person.

Four years ago. That happened in 2012. Were you angry?

Was there any reason—do you know why I was more hurt than angry. We’d been
the person pulled the trigger? together for 36 years. We had a good
relationship. We might argue or fuss at each
I don’t know why that happened. I really other constantly, but we made up and had a
don’t. I know that he loved to be out with good time together. We were friends—father
everybody. He was a nice person, as far as I and son, but friends too. I just miss him. I miss
know. Everybody in north Charleston knew him, that’s all I can say. I miss him every day. I
him. There must have been some kind of miss him.
misunderstanding that he and someone had,
and he got lured into the wrong place and There are a lot of people out there who
got killed. I don’t know why he got killed. I have lost someone to gun violence, and just
wasn’t there and he was. The law never found like with your son, the law never found out
out who killed him or why. I just left the area anything.
before I killed someone—and it would have

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Never found out a thing. Four years later, they they put that red dye in money bag with the
don’t know who did it or why. For me it is money and that caused everything to go afoul.
just something I have to accept and keep on
maintaining my life. He’s gone and I can’t bring You had a lifetime of work history behind
him back. you—but then something happened—what
happened?—that changed you and led you
You said that you used to own a lot of guns to that crime?
in Charleston—were those for hunting or
personal defense or just for fun? I’ve put in about forty years of work, thirty-
five as a meat cutter. During my meat cutting
In that little town north of Charleston we never years, me and my wife separated. For some
had too much violence. You could leave your reason things just started falling apart. I started
doors open and no one would go in your getting out into the street and messing with
house. Everyone knew everyone. We didn’t the wrong people. I started using drugs.
need any for self defense. I just kept them for Drinking alcohol, using drugs and being
sport hunting. around the wrong people. And one thing led
to another, and I ended up robbing the bank.
Why did you go to prison?
You brighten up any room that you come
Attempted bank robbery. into. You put a smile on my face, and make
my heart happier. I’m thankful that you’re
How long ago? out representing Speak Up.

July of 2008. Yeah, I love Speak Up. Speak Up has helped
me a whole lot. I try to help Speak Up a whole
How long were you incarcerated? lot. Even if I do get another job—I still want
to sell the magazines. Speak Up helped me
Two and half years. Bank robbery carries a ten through my hard time. I would advise anyone
year charge, but I was non-violent. I didn’t who is going through a hard time to sell Speak
have a weapon—if I’d had one, I probably Up—it puts money in my pocket.
would have gotten ten years or more. If I had
one, someone would have gotten hurt. —

You went into a bank without a weapon Visit speakupmag.org/subscribe to get this
to rob the bank; that doesn’t sound like it magazine in the mail each month. Select
would be very successful. “Edward” after checkout so he gets paid
whenever you get a magazine.
Well, I just handed the teller a note. I’d heard
people working for banks say that if someone
came and insisted on the money, they’d give it
to them, they wouldn’t want to get killed. But

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SCARRED IN CLT

Surreal. Real. Scared to death. Emotional thought this might be it – she was scared to
scar. Trauma. Why? My friend asked this death. Both women start crying out to Jesus to
after innocently getting involved in the protect them, to help them. My friend could
Charlotte, NC, on September 21, 2016. see that up ahead just a bit was a street where
they could turn down and escape the city.
My friend doesn’t watch the news. Is that cra- However, she couldn’t get to it because of all
zy? I don’t either. I just depend on my husband the cars in front of her. Help, Jesus!
to tell me the highlights I need to know. My
friend lives alone. She wondered, “Do I gun it, not caring what
or who I hit? Do I just out and run for my life?”
My friend met a friend for dinner who was in Just then, a woman on the sidewalk came over
Charlotte on business in the Southpark area. to the car telling my friend not to be afraid and
After dinner, they got dessert and decided that she was going to be okay. That woman
to take it back to the hotel room and talk for went up to each car ahead of her and, one by
a while in peace and quiet. The hotel was one, had them move up enough so that my
in downtown Charlotte. Around 9 pm, they friend could drive to the street that would free
drove into the city and saw huge crowds in the her from the chaos. Praise God!
streets and a barricade which kept them from
the hotel. They thought that a sporting event Her traveling friend had to stay elsewhere
or concert has just let out, so they went off to and went back to the hotel the next day to
find a coffee shop to hang out and eat their get her things and get out of Charlotte. “Get
dessert. out of Charlotte” just doesn’t sound right. It’s
not right—not what this community has been
After Starbucks, the traveling friend called the about. Why?
hotel to ask if the barricade was gone, was the
area clear and ready for her to return. She was My friend called me on Sunday and was still
told that the streets were clear and to come shaking over the trauma. Sudden sounds, a
back. So the two women headed back into the bang, makes her jump. This is Charlotte. Why?
city. Scars on the innocent because angry people
don’t know how to treat each other. Scarred
Sitting at a traffic light, a huge gang of thugs for life. In Charlotte, North Carolina. Why?
came out from around the buildings, came
over to the car and started banging on it and —Sandra Stiles
rocking it. My friend—full of faith—told me she

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NEW EMPATHY

I would argue that it is almost impossible to The fact that because their skin carries more
understand despair until you experience it for melanin in it than mine subjects them to hate
yourself. No news media, no report or article and injustice was unfathomable. I understood
written can convey the feeling; it must be the despair, the helplessness and the frustra-
experienced, witnessed and seen to be truly tion of being the subject of discrimination for
understood. something that was out of my control; and it
broke my heart. Daniel H. Pink said “Empathy
Police, clothed with riot gear, tear-gas and is about standing in someone else’s shoes,
fear-filled faces, lined the streets of Uptown feeling with his or her heart, and seeing with
Charlotte while protesters, boiling with the his or her eyes.”
anger of decades of injustice, faced them.
The scene was something out of a nightmare, That Wednesday night, true empathy finally
and as a couple of friends and I got out of our became a reality. And while I could never even
car in Uptown, the reality of what was going hope to understand their pain, that’s not what
on sank in. As we walked down the street, empathy means. I saw with their eyes, I felt
we were greeting by questioning and con- their heart. As I returned to my life as usual the
descending looks. I realized that for the first next morning, the overwhelming sense of grief
time in my life, I was being judged merely for for our country brought me to my knees. Why?
the color of my skin—white—and worse, I was Why does our society reinforce these notions
hated for it. I was a meaningless face, and no- of inequality? I realize that these are questions
body cared what my intentions for being there I cannot even begin to fathom an answer to,
were; I was White and that was the problem. but it isn’t my job to answer these. To search
As a brick was hurled past my head and the for answers to age-old questions is a waste
glass windowpane of the building behind me of time. My job is to love and to see to it that
was shattered, I found that my preconceived changes are made now. In my opinion, that is
notions of racism in our country were as well. the job of every American citizen. Land of the
First off, the problem is real, and secondly, Free. I have hope that one day our nation will
the problem at hand was not one that only live into that statement, and that every single
affected my Black friends, but it is my problem citizen, no matter what ethnicity, will experi-
as well. It is my problem because it affects the ence the relief and joy of being truly free.
ones I love and care about.
—Ryan Felice
My eyes were opened and I was confront-
ed with the truth that this is what some of
my best friends experience on a daily basis.

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LOCAL ARTISTS ARE
REDEEMING THE
DESTROYED WINDOWS.

The violence of the protests lead to much property damage. Local artists have been blanketing

the window-covering plywood with messages of hope and redemption. Alisha Pruett took photos.

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We must defeat the enemy
within for humanity to survive.

—artist James Phoutavong

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Social Media at Its Best

Social media can be a dangerous place during times of socie-
tal unrest. Grace gives way to anger, thoughtfulness gives way
to punditry,

But there are highlights.

Throughout the week, Lisa Koons–who founded the 24-7
Prayer Room in Charlotte–modeled a brokenhearted authen-
ticity that both illuminated the felt-pain of the protestors and
offered an invitation to understanding.

She gave us permission to share this post which was first
published on Facebook.

Lisa Koons Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2016 at 8:43 am:

Hordes of police officers & the National Guard fill our streets.
News choppers & armed force helicopters fill our night sky. Prayer
vigils fill our churches. And people in protest shouting & hoist-
ing signs crawl through the center & edges of our uptown every
day now. We have mixed feelings about having the world watch,
finger-wag, & pass judgements on how we are reacting & griev-
ing, while they also seemingly simultaneously wish we would just
get over it. But, many among us have reached a tipping point.
You see, our multitudes are not seeking to get over “it”. They
are seeking to openly address & end “it”. And the “it” stretches
profoundly far beyond the salient details & borders of all the
recent shootings. Surely you know this by now. “It” has been with
us for centuries, for decades, for years, & “it” is with us present-
ly. And we aggressively wish to work to end “it”. So, be patient
with some of the populous of Charlotte for not being as neat, as
polished, nor as polite as you’d like them to be, & for not getting
over “it” as quickly as you think they should. We are groping our
way toward something important. Forsake passing judgments
from a distance & instead consider researching the larger issue &
practice joining in with us to help end “it.”

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Dewayne and Amy
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sell Speak Up Magazine
to give a voice to the voiceless
and stay off the streets.